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For Men Only
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Product Description

Finally!You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please!as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.


You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Have you given up trying to “get” the woman in your life? If so, you are in for a pleasant eye-opener: She can be understood. Even better!you can make her happy. Which will make you happy.

The bestselling author of For Women Only teams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, “It’s not splitting the atom.”

What makes her tick? What is she really asking (but not actually saying)? Take the guesswork out of trying to please your wife or girlfriend and begin loving her in the way she needs. Easily. For Men Only is a straightforward map that will lead you straight into her heart.

And for every guy who rarely reads a manual:

Quick-Start Guide Included!

“When we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today , the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevant!good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”

Dennis Rainey

President, FamilyLife

Story Behind the Book

“As I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, `You are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.”

!Shaunti Feldhahn

From the Hardcover edition.

Customer Reviews:

  • I do not recommend this book
    I listened to the audiobook of this. My first problem was that the authors chose to use the book as a vehicle to spread their misguided brand of evangelical Christianity. This was an affront to my intelligence.

    Secondly, they clearly had no idea how to conduct a proper scientific study. The information presented in the book was based on an amateur survey and should be given little or no credence.

    I would recommend to the authors that if they wish to publish further works on topics like this, they should go back to school and learn about statistics, random sampling and how to conduct scientific studies. Then, they should realize that there is no place for religion in books of this type.

    If the authors want to write about their religious beliefs, that's fine, but the title should clearly reflect that so people who have a genuine interest in the workings of the human brain do not waste their money....more info
  • For Men Only
    This book is worth every penny! It's a speedy but informative read. It has helped me understand my girlfriend, and women in general, so much more. I asked her to read it, and this has led to some great (ongoing) discussions that have helped us understand and relate to each other in ways that have been so beneficial to both of us (She has just purchased "For Women Only" so to be fair, I imagine I'll be reading that book soon too).

    I've always been a "well, she's are just like that" type of guy but this book has helped me to understand that it doesn't have to be like that at all. We are different -but this book has helped me to understand these differences and we have grown closer because of it.

    I've just begun reading it for the second time too!

    ...more info
  • Good book understanding women, sharing closer more quality relationship.
    So you say you want to learn to have a better relationship with your lady? For Men Only is good book to help get you there guys will appreciate it's being concise yet informative understanding the way she thinks. There are few inacuracies in this book and it's going to help you share a closer relationship with your significant other. Just remember though, she's not "A lower life form" as mentioned. Treat her with respect and dignity. There are three types of men. 1)Who sees himself as superior and domeneering. 2) The man who puts her up on a pedistal needy. And, lastly 3) The man who treats ladies as an equal respecting her treating her with dignity. Niether women or men are superior it is their relationship with each other their unique characteristics that are complimentary to each other. The first two examples are of insecure men overpowering or week. The man who enjoys a quality sucessful relationship with a woman yet isn't over-powering. Consistent. Steady. Warm. Strong. But not overpowering similiar to the sun loving unconditionally, appreciating inner qualities. For Men Only shines in helping men to become better listeners this is where it's going to be particularly helpful. Difference between listening and hearing a woman has both a mind and a heart she just wants us to LISTEN. She's an emotional creature with all sorts of attributes to be appreciated. Overall a good book that makes solid points. When we better understand each other genuinely appreciating difference there is intimacy and pure love. The author offers a great deal of insight into better understanding women with his efforts. Will be helpful to just about any man who wants to experience true intimacy in his relationship with a woman....more info
  • For Men Only
    A great read for any man who wants to have a succesfull relationship with your woman. It is so much easier to understand someone when you know how they are approaching a subject or an emotion.
    Good book, defiantely worth reading. ...more info
  • It doesn't give all the answers such as...
    1. How to be clever enough not to marry at all ? (People told me: "Don't do it", but I tought I was clever...)
    2. When you are married how to get rid of her with minimum of negative effects to the child and minimum costs.

    Problem: This book would like that you think that you can have happy marriage with women = sorry, it's impossible, but if you want ... well, keep on trying, (ha,ha, ha, ...) ...more info
  • Smackdown: 4 Men Only vs 4 Women Only
    Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.

    "For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - garnered about 90 comments thus far. The few negative reviews (less than 3 stars) were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, mostly by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!

    Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them. Thus far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) for a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, mostly complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk came from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.

    The ladies offered such loving things as:

    "Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."

    "The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."

    "This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."

    "If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"

    Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."

    Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.

    Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each. It's hard, though, to miss the more gracious thoughts liberally applied to his book about her, compared to the begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too.

    Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:

    "My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."

    Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. You dodged a bullet thanks to this little book.

    Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options......more info
  • Easy listening about hard subject
    This audio book helped me to better understand women in general and my wife in particular. No price could be put on the positive effect it has and will continue to have on my marriage. I think this is something every man should have if they plan to effectively interact with and attempt to understand the opposite sex. ...more info
  • A must-have
    This book is a must-have for men who want to make their marriage better. It's straight-forward and honest and real. Women--buy it for your husband. And buy yourself "For Women Only". Our church does classes on Wednesday nights and classes on these two books are very popular and very, very helpful to marriages!! Mine was greatly improved after my husband and I each completed the classes. We both got more out of our class because we'd already read the books. Men and women think so differently, these books are a real eye-opener!!...more info
  • Powerful and Illuminating
    Don't be fooled by the size of this little book because within its pages is a message all men need to here. I first read this book several years ago and have since given it as a gift to several close friends. I highly recommend this book to you. Don't make the same mistake that most of my male friends have made by believing that her wants and needs are the same as your own... their not!
    ...more info
  • Highly recommended
    I started this book today and finished it in one sitting, I got started and couldn't stop reading all the fascinating things I thought I knew about my wife. Men, don't think about it whether you are having problems or not this book will really make you think about how you look at your relationship with your wife. I actually got the companion book for my wife and when I finished this one I read it as well, both of them really hit the nail on the head. Do yourself and your wife a favor and buy both books and seriously sit down and read them, I think you will find lots of useful information that will help any marriage regardless of how many years you have been married. This is no marriage saving book but it isn't intended to be either, it will however give you clues as to what you have been doing wrong and how to proceed with a better chance of success. Communication is key and this can get the dialog started. This should be required reading in pre-marital counseling....more info
  • Good read with some useful information.
    The book seems to really break down how women think and what they want. I have to admit that some things have worked really well.

    Other theories did not seem to mesh up with my wife. That may be because she is one of the exceptions to the rule.

    Overall, it is a good book and worth the time....more info
  • Every man should read this book
    This book really does provide insight into the minds of women. I think that if every man read this book and applied what it says, their relationships with women would be much improved....more info
  • For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
    Outstanding book! I learned alot, but my wife appreciated me reading it even more because of the things we can now discuss more openly. Quick and easy to read - with a very handy cheat sheet up front to remind you of the key points once you get done. To score even more points with your wife - get her the corresponding "For Women Only" book so she can learn some surprising things about you....more info
  • Perfect
    This book almost perfectly describes my thoughts and feelings in my marriage. I've been married nine years and my husband still doesn't understand me. I'd really like for him to read this....more info
  • for Men Only - Good
    The book gives a good, grounded introduction into the inner workings of male - female relationships and is suitable for both married and unmarried men....more info
  • Extremely Good Book!
    I wish i have read the book many many years back! Yah we, men, get lost at WHY women react that way! Aha, there are secrets! and this book will tell you why.

    I think every men should read this book to save their marriage, to build a better relationship with their wives/girl friends. I think this book hit right there at the correct spots.

    Along with FOR WOMEN only, two books that should be at every harmoniuos home! I have recomended these two books to many men and women that thanked me profoundly because of the content of the books have helped them to understand women/men better.

    This book differ from other 'Mars/Venus series" in the way it recommend actions, and the focus on the inner thoughts of men and women in term of relationship.

    I have since picked a couple of ideas and put into my seminar with great success. Great book for understanding the other side of human!...more info
  • For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
    Outstanding! Very helpful. Recommend to any man who wants to know and love that special woman in his life....more info
  • Where's the Book
    I never received the book. Emailed the company, and they emailed me back. Told me to wait a couple of days. Still no book. Said they would forward my message to Amazon for a refund. Still waiting for Amazon to contact me....more info
  • Great Book
    My Husband loves this book We read for him only and for her only before we got married and it has great advice and information!...more info
  • Great!
    I was introduced to this book at a men's conference. Couldn't put the book down. Women are hard to understand at times and this book gave me insites to the way they think and what they think about us men....more info
  • Read it with your girlfriend/wife
    I highly recommend this book. But men, don't just read it yourself. Carve out some time in your busy schedule to read it together with your girlfriend/wife. As you read, ask her... is this true? Talk about her answers. Apply your discussion to your relationship. This has really helped our marriage and I'm sure it will help yours also. Also read the book "For Women Only" and do the same thing....more info
  • For Men Only
    You could call today's book review a twofor, since although both of these books could stand alone, when it comes to couples, they should be purchased, if not read, together. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that they should be pre-marriage requisite reading. These books may be considered Christian; however, there is information in these books that will help couples better understand one another no matter what religion they are, or even if they have no religion.

    First, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, is a book written, obviously for women, about the way men think. At first, I honestly thought it was just another book telling us how we should respect our mates whether we think they deserve it or not. Reading further, I realized it was so much more.

    This book goes beyond the respect lesson, though there is a heavy dose of it, to mens' emotional and physical needs - yes, sex, but more than sex. Not only does it explain these from a woman's perspective, but also delves into the man's perspective, because although the author of this book is female, she took the time to study hundreds of men from all walks of life.

    It was during this study and interview of hundreds of men from pastors to CEOs, tothe man seated beside her on an airplane, to the one behind the counter who served her favorite coffee, that Feldhahn noted a pattern of responses that is the basis of this book.

    The companion book I mentioned, For Men Only, written by Feldhahn and her husband Jeff, will have you nodding your head in agreement; at least if you are a woman reading the book. That is exactly why I recommend this book as a gift for the man in your life. Whether engaged, or married for fifty years, there is something in this book that will help spark a new understanding to men about what makes women tick. Or, more specifically, what makes you tick.

    The best part of these books, I found, was that they not only disclosed these inner thoughts and feelings, but they also dissected them and placed them under the microscope so that the reader would have a better understanding of what really is the deeper meaning of what might otherwise seem a surface feeling. In other words, they also provided the whys. If you are in a relationship you owe in to both yourself and your partner to read these books.

    ...more info
  • Good advice. Miserable reading
    If you're looking for good marital advice, this book is perfectly acceptable. While I worry about the excessive reliance upon stereotypes throughout, nonetheless I cannot find substantive criticism with the claims that are actually made in it. If you have read other "Christian Marriage Books", you will not find much in this one that is new. I concede, however, that what you will find is at least reasonably accurate, and even helpful. Men would do well to follow its advice. The authors seem to have gone to some trouble to survey people, and that information is interesting (and makes it stand out when compared with other books). What this book says, when it gets around to saying it, is worth hearing and worth doing.

    But I give this book a two-star review for its laughable, miserable, woefully inept writing style, liberally doused with silly generalizations, unintentional insults, and otherwise juvinile form.

    Apparently, it is not enough for the authors to offer helpful hints at "affirming your spouse." No, the authors feel the need to dictate that advice using baseball metaphors. "First base is to do such and such...second base is...hold on boys, you're almost home! Now you've affirmed her! Home Run! Wayddago slugger!" Never before have I less wanted to go all the way home.

    That metaphor is perhaps only topped by the unintentionally obnoxious, yet ubiquitous references to the windows operating system as a model for the human mind. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. They aren't content to note that women have a tendency to consider more things at one time than men. No, they have to repeat analogies to multi-tasking windows, pupup ads, etc. I understood the analogy the first time. Bu the 501st time rolled around, I was angry. Approaching 1047, I felt an emerging sense of pity for the authors, who appeared not to be aware of the fact that they were embarrising themselves needlessly.

    The authors are under the impression that men are shallow, unread morons who obsess about sports, can only understand concepts when we draw pictures of them, and don't care much whether a book is written in complete sentences. What I imagine they take to be "cute, relevant" writing comes off as a dreary, hopeless mess, and a full-fledged assault on language.

    If, however, you find words such as "substantive", "inept", "dreary", "ubiquitous" and so on to be too cerebral for you, then I can without reservation say that you will enjoy this book immensely. If you are not in the habit of reading books, you'll love this one. If you waste your life in front of a television and demand easy entertainment, this is right up your alley. If you watch the news, but only read the side-bars and are confused by the actual story, this book will hold your attention. I have no problem with you if this describes you, and it would be a wonderful thing if this book helps your marriage. I say that sincerely.

    But I'm still waiting for a marriage book that doesn't make me second-guess my decision not to have a lobotomy....more info
  • WOW, who knew? Life saving info for all straight men
    Not one for self help books, contest them all.

    But this book isn't self help, its a must for all men- hell it should be taught in school.

    A little repetitive, but as a 30 year old - 4 years married - man with an active single life, i thought i had it figured.

    Well, lets say the book doesn't offer advise, just explains - and if you want to at least understand why she/ they are the way they are then spend a day- very short and easy to read- arming yourself with a little knowledge.

    Lets face it, we all need a little help....more info
  • great read
    my husband and I are reading this book with another couple. it has been helpful to start great conversation. "what women should know" is also wonderful. both are quiet helpful to help us understand our mate better....more info
  • Great read- fun and insightful!
    Our pastor recommended this book (who knew!). My husband read "For Men Only" and I read "For Women Only." Before we were married, we decided that each year, we would read a 'foster our relationship' book together. This is by far the best read we've done! Very insightful, specific and a fun read. We've already recommended these books to a number of friends and family members- both those with great marriages and those that could stand a little assistance. We recommend these books to anyone that isn't a mind-reader when it comes to their spouse!...more info
  • Great, Practical Book - Simple read; good applications
    Excellent guide - frames relationships with wives a girlfriends in a very practical way. Biblically based, but doesn't beat scripture over the head. Uses professionally administered surveys to illustrate points - great for analytical guys!

    The best book I've read on how to improve relationships - would highly recommend for any married couple!...more info