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Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, Available in Various Sizes
List Price: $35.00

Our Price: $35.00

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Product Description

The Mountain T-Shirts are premium, hand-dyed shirts screenprinted using environmentally safe, water based inks. They feature a leather feel label so comfortable there is never a need to cut it out.
Special Order Item. Usually ships in 5 business days. Your shipping method will determine how quickly it arrives after it ships.

  • Premium, hand-dyed shirt
  • Screenprinted using environmentally safe, water based inks.
  • Features a leather feel label so comfortable there is never a need to cut it out.
  • Special Order Item.
  • Available in Various Sizes.

Customer Reviews:

  • Gone today, hair tomorrow
    It started when I was 13. The unluckiest of numbers. A few strands of hair staring back at me from the bottom of the sink. With each passing week, a few more soldiers joined the ranks of the fallen. By the end of that year I was a textbook case for male pattern baldness. It was a lonely year. Even the dorks shunned me.

    That's how it started. And that's how it's been. Lonely. Oh, sure. There was the occasional moment of commiseration. Like when I first saw Opie all grown up. Or the once furry Agasi. But those times were far too fleeting to be of much consolation. I was alone out there. And my head was cold. Or sunburned. Never just right.

    Working the phones at night, telling women what they wanted, nay, needed, to hear on Dionne's Psychic hotline, I shuffled along in my meager, hairless existence. Soon the Internet became my best friend. I no longer needed to leave the confines of my sad little home. Groceries, books, friends and even, yes, lovers were suddenly an option. But it was a hollow life.

    And then I discovered the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt. Reading the reviews, it was as though Dionne herself was tapping me on my shiny bald pate and telling me to go for it. Crazy be damned! I bought it!

    Now I know most people recommended wearing it tightly around one's chest but I just had a feeling. And so the Three Wolf do-rag was born. Within minutes I could feel that tingle on my scalp! I rushed to look at my reflection in the computer monitor (I've long since discarded all the mirrors) and there it was! One proper, fine, GORGEOUS mullet! As though it were the bushy tail of the wolves themselves, there it was running down the nape of my neck.

    With tear-filled eyes, I burst out of my home laughing and crying all at once. I stumbled to my knees, leaned back and let out 32 years worth of a mighty howl. Windows shook. A nearby car alarm went off. A few cats sprinted for the shadows. A woman in a passing car stopped with tires shrieking. And approached. She knelt beside me, looked into my eyes and said the words I'll never forget: "Did that qualify for free Super Saver Shipping"?

    TWMT4L...more info
  • Why no purple?
    This t-shirt of of high quality cotton and is printed flawlessly in deep, saturated inks. It fit well from the first wear and it has been aging beautifully. I had no problems with fading after the first wash and I have now worn it atleast 10 times without incident. I anticipate that when I wash this shirt again, given its exceptional quality, I will continue to have no problems. The only reason I give this shirt four stars instead of five is that it did not come in my first choice of t-shirt colors: purple.

    Im not really sure why so many people are writing weird reviews on this shirt about magic and whatnot but Im serious when I say this shirt is really bitchin'. I wish it would get me supermodel babes but so far no luck.

    One time I did pick up a fourteen year old Smuckers spokesgirl with my Dale Earnhardt Sr. signature shirt, she said it made her cry a little bit which I thought was totally hot. Now in my defense, before you judge me, she said she was sixteen and she looked about, well, to tell you truth she looked about twelve, so, but, whatever all she wanted to do was talk and drink wine coolers so thats all we did. I thought for a minute I was going to get to second base with her when I offered her a Doobie but she said her dad would smell it on her breath. I offered to make her my special hash brownie recipe that I got off the anarchist cookbook the next time I saw her if she'd go go all the way but it didn't work......Anyway, maybe Ill get that "lucky" again......more info
  • Most popular man in Lake Jackson
    I was a little hesitant to purchase this shirt at first, as I am more of a coyote kinda guy...that and I've been saving for some sweet torquoise jewelery I've had my eye on for a while. Anyway, I was able to talk my step mom into helping me with my trailer rental payment this month, so I figured why not? Boy, am I glad I did! Ever since I got this shirt my life has completely turned around. I finished my GED and got accepted to a really nice community college. I think I will do graphic design so I too can make wolf shirts; I think the key is more wolves, maybe even a wolf tesselation of some kind. My dad says I should really set my goals higher, like pipe-fitting or something. Anyway, after all that excitement I found out my sister was pregnant; we're pretty sure it's mine. If not, that boy JT she runs around with has it coming! After that I found out the repairs on my '97 Nissan Hardbody could be done at home, so then I was able to get my torquoise jewelery! Seriously, everything has gone right since I've been wearing this shirt. I know people order more than one, but that's what deodorant and Joop are for. Besides, this is my lucky one. I do plan on ordering more though, never too early to get Christmas shopping done! ...more info
  • Dilema Causing
    My father ordered this shirt after reading the rave reviews. When he received it, around the same time I made him watch Twilight (being a teenage girl), he wished to be young forever like Edward Cullen. My dad has now turned into Edward! I do not recommend purchasing this shirt at all unless you are fully aware of its consequences... I constantly find my dad running around the backyard and sneaking up behind me yelling "Are you afraid!?" and "Say it!". He can't come and pick me up from school anymore because he's viciously attacked by a mob of squealing fan girls and gay guys. All my friends and myself included are in love with him... How can I love my own dad!? Help!...more info
  • Three Wolf Moon
    I heard the legend of the Wolf Three-T-Shirt-Available-
    Various-Sizes at the local bar and laundromat. I was
    skeptical but once I read the reviews I knew I had something here.
    There had been 4 precious moments in my life up to this point. The
    first was when the good Lord delivered me Luanne. When I say delivered
    I do mean delivered Uncle Ned was busy handing out cigars at the time. The second being my eldest son Brian (Thanks Luanne). The third has to be my second youngest Brian (Thank you Misty Mae). And the fourth being
    my only daughter Bryanne (Thanks for taking me back Luanne). I
    couldn't explain how I knew I must purchase this fancy store bought
    shirt I just did. It's like when you see a cup full of ice and a can
    of Bud Light you just know. When the package arrived I was beside
    myself. I went inside my bedroom and locked the door cause of all the
    stories I had heard. Well it turned out to be a mixed blessing much
    like Brian, Brian, and Bryanne. I didn't get no magical powers like
    some had claimed. But as soon as I put on the heavenly wonder my skullet became a mullet the very next day! That's right folks I went from Gallagher to Billy Ray Cyrus in a blink of an eye. I can't guarantee nothing but this aint no ordinary shirt. Sure I howl when I hear a firetruck go by but Luanne sure is tickled.

    *Individual experience may vary...more info
  • Three Wolves = MADNESS
    This is a great shirt, with all sorts of features they don't even tell you about. Yeah, it's black (the color of brooding), it's got the moon (A-plus, btw) and THREE wolves (for the price of one), but it's also got wifi, a cigarette lighter, and the overwhelming scent of pine. The only way this shirt could be better is if I could shake hands with the wolves themselves. If you haven't purchased one yet, you might as well be punching your grandmother in the mouth....more info
  • Finally available for 2-4 year olds!
    Being a parent to a young man can be intimidating. There is no manual for instilling manliness, and our monthly tractor pulls and nudy bar trips only got us so far. Well now I have found the answer.... 3 Wolf Moon Shirt! Sure, like everyone else I own several of these for myself, but could the magic and alure be passed to my 3 year old son? Let me tell you YES and Yes! After our newly ordered 2-4 year year old sized 3 Wolf Moon shirt hit our doorstep (box arrived burned like the ark of the covenent crate in Indiana Jones) we saw immediate results. Soccer moms kids used to keep their distance from him at the playground and construction sites, but now they are draw to him like mullets to rednecks. No more socially awkward playdate stand-ups. My boy is now a MAN! Thanks 3 Wolf Moon Shirt! Do yourself a favor and pass on the Baby Einstein DVD, for $13.78 Three Wolf Moon Shirt is the real bargain!...more info
  • Big Wave Surfing and the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt
    Forget the life vest! I wore this shirt while surfing 70 foot faces at Phantoms---a secret spot on the North Shore of Oahu. Now, all the locals are going to try and beat me up because I just revealed their big wave secret spot. Good luck Gents. You try to steal my wallet and these three wolves will pound you!

    Anyway, the pull of upward howl towards the moon is 47 times more buoyant than a life vest in water rescue situations--not physically of course, I'm speaking spiritually which is all that really matters. Your will to live is amplified when you got three wolves on your side.

    Tomorrow I am going to experiment with having the wolves' collective howl pull me into big waves...who needs a tow rope and a jet ski when you have eco-friendly wolf-power?

    PS> Anyone make a "Howl Towel?" That would be a HUGE success in Hawaii. Even though there aren't any wolves out here there is a Wolf Pak. Wear this Wolf Moon t-shirt to the next pipeline house party and I guarantee you will get respect even if you're a ha'ole from New Jersey.

    PSS> While the power of the shirt lies in the unseen/unheard howl, the moon isn't doing anything that spectacular. And also the leather tag "for comfort" smells funny. Like a dead cow or something....more info
  • From "Richard Petty" to "Not So Petty"
    I bought this shirt at a Monster truck rally back in August, due to the fact that I had spilled salsa all over my Roger Petty shirt. I was very disappointed that I had ruined my favorite shirt and was not very enthusiastic about having to change "my look," but after sliding the silky garment over my torso, I immediately knew that this was no ordinary shirt. Something came over me, and I was standing taller throughout the day. Just the thought of not one, not two, but three vicious canines embossed upon my barrel chest gave me the confidence to ask-out Francise, the lead checker at AutoZone. It's been three weeks since the Monster Truck rally and I haven't taken the shirt off yet. The dark black died cotton helps to conceal my armpit stains and chocolate syrup, salsa and even chewing tobacco won't show up on it when as long as they don't land on the wolves or the moon. I just want to say to anyone that is thinking of buying this it! It will change your life!...more info
  • Whiterer teeth
    While wearing this shirt, my 18 1/2 teeth appear to be whiter and shinier...maybe its the dark background of the shirt, I don't know. Another positive is that I'm only having to brush my teeths once a week instead of my "overly frequent" 4 times. I also find myself masticating more frequently, because of how it makes my teeth feel. I can't wait for the "rumored" socks (to wear with my sandals) to become available...I'll need them in X-large, btw... which happens to be yet another benefit of this shirt!...more info
  • Dave Weart owns one of these shirts
    This shirt is incredible. My boy Dave Weart was wearing one the other day and miraculously he breast-fed a flamingo back to health. Not only that but this shirt made him so virile, he sired a baseball team. An orchestra if you count the bastards.

    And as for me, I now jog a mile and a half a day with a refrigerator on my back thanks to this shirt.

    5 stars. Buy this shrt....more info
  • You can't tame this!
    Kudos to the American hellraiser who devised this prize! You are a patriot warrior! I absolutely love the attention to detail on this piece. Where do I begin? I feel like I should be paying the artist for every time I don this cotton bordello machine! I like that the shirt is black, and you can see that the moon is out, so you immediately know it's night (that's when wolves come out) And more importantly, I love the aurora borealis and stars...that really drives home the point that it's night.

    Seeing that I'm a janitor, I have nothing but time and money on my hands. So I decided to spend my hard earned cash on guaranteed sexdom. I paid for rush delivery (since I'm made of money) and got it the next day. When I opened the package, I became another man...or...wolfman, rather. I swear it possessed my soul. I ripped off my pants and ran around in the woods until midnight. Just me and my shirt, exploring the wilderness in the flesh. I'll tell you what...after I calmed the rage and returned home, I slammed a 12-pack of PBR and decided to take this show on the road. So I greased up my rat tail, strapped my toddlers in my '83 Chevy Camaro Berlinetta (with t-tops) and cranked up some Whitesnake on the way to the local titty bar. Before this shirt, I was a complete loser. I couldn't get laid if I were in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas. But now that I own this shirt, the chicks want to try to domesticate me. To which I say, "No thanks perty lady, I run alone." then point to my shirt and give them a wink (this move usually makes them want me even more, but combined with this shirt, the babes were almost impossible to stop because there are three wolves on it) I like to get my wolf on from time to time, and this shirt guarantees nonstop action.

    My only complaint about this shirt is that it only had one moon. However, I'm looking forward to their bald eagle edition print next year! I hear it will have fireworks and a flying flag in the background. I might have to combine the two shirts so I can wear them both at the same time for a giant sexplosion....more info
  • A heartfelt tale
    17 years ago to the day, on a dark and stormy night, my hand accidentally brushed the shirt as I was digging through my Uncle Jake's t-shirt drawer to steal a pack of smokes, and I immediately reached puberty. I had a cigarette to celebrate, and the velvet picture of Jesus on the wall started to cry. Also, at that exact moment, Bill Gates called our rotary phone to say that the chain email had reached him and I was a millionaire. If you have any doubts, you can verify the authenticity of this story by calling Bob Saget and asking him for my shirt back. I've already purchased another because life must go on, but you see, my old one was customized as a sweet V neck (only the Dalai Lama's golden scissors were up to the task) and the local chicks were crazy about my breastbeard poking out - with my manly curls, it looked like I had Chewbacca in a headlock everytime I cruised the strip in my T-bird. If you don't purchase this shirt, your social life will disappear faster than a New York taxi driver....more info
  • Chest Covering Trifecta
    I have been on the search for a majestic shirt like this. I anticipate that I will be turning the woman down left and right after this shirt arrives and I wipe the gravy off my chest then slip it over my pasty chest. I have looked High and Low from Wal Mart to Win Co. I have even scoured mens apparel at the local thrift stores.
    I was on the verge of designing my own wolf howling at the moon shirt because I was tired of using Craig's List to find the lady's.
    Watch out babes cause when I step out of my Ford with my new powerful shirt and crack a Busch Lite you will not be able to resist the allure of this trifecta.
    Come and get it...more info
  • Not Just For Men!!!!
    I saw this shirt hyped on a link through yahoo. My curiousity got the best of me as I clicked on the link and read all these reviews on the shirt. Most from men, I figured I would throw caution to the wind and buy one, as women, should be able to harness the power as well!! The shirt arrived as promised, however a little smaller than I had hoped for it being an XL. However, I can describe it as being "sexy" and "seductive" to wear. A little tight, it looks more of a babydoll shirt than anything. I have yet to see the "magical benefits" that is being touted here on the reviews however, time will tell..........more info
  • Baby Machine!
    My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for years. We've tried everything you can imagine, yet nothing worked. After reading the reviews here I decided to buy the 3 wolf shirt. As soon as I put the shirt on I could feel a tingling sensation - it was almost paralyzing. I quickly grabbed my wife and headed for the bedroom. 2 hours later she was pregnant - with triplets. This shirt has been a miracle.
    I've since quit my job and make a living donating to the sperm bank - I'm the number one pick!

    Thanks again three wolf moon shirt!...more info
  • Thanks to this shirt, I won the lotto!
    I haven't even ordered this shirt, but already my life has changed.
    You may have heard of the magic blue dot in the National Enquirer. This blue dot has been PSYCHICALLY charged by some of the LEADING PSYCHICS out there. Just touch the blue dot, medidate on what you want and you get it.
    So hey, I thought, why not try it with this shirt. I held my hand to computer image and the next minute I had won $400 million AND a date with Daniel Craig. Thanks, three-wolf shirt!...more info
  • not your average shirt...
    I must admit, I was a little hesitant to purchase this item. I thought it looked fairly average and very similar to other clothes in my wardrobe (i.e. my coyote-on-a-mountaintop, rhinestone-studded sweatshirt, my t-shirt with a pack of tigers, and of course my t-shirt with my beloved labrador retriever Sky).

    However, the second I opened the box that contained this beauty, I was stunned. It had an overwhelming impact on me. I had to put it on immediately. It's something about the way the wolves are arching their backs toward the mysterious celestial body in the darkness of the night.

    When I wear it I know people get green with envy. I see the way they look at me, as if they wish they owned this article of clothing. I know I look good in it too! So purchase this item and experience a little magic, a little boost in your confidence, and a lot of intrigue from onlookers. I wear this shirt at least 6 times a week to work, around the house, or when I run errands. And boy, is it worth it!...more info
  • Trust The Reviews!
    A friend turned me on to this shirt when we met for drinks one morning. Babes were all over him at the bar, and I just couldn't figure it out with him being 42, fat, and mostly bald except for his bitchin waterfall mullet. He told me to find the three wolf moon t-shirt on Amazon. What in the sam hell is an amazon, I asked him. So he wrote me the internet address that he kept in his wallet and told me to keep it on the DL.

    Needless to say, I went straight down to the public library, logged on to the internet machine, and ordered me one of those t-shirts in XXL. I still didn't get the allure until I saw it in person. I heard an echoed howl in the back of my mind, and I turned around but there was nothing. Instantly I knew this was magic, so I put the shirt on right over my sweat-stained wifebeater. Holy Balls! Like some sort of ESP I suddenly knew exactly how to get to every Bass Pro Shop in the state, and what beer goes with possum (it's Coors Light, by the way).

    As far as babes go, I don't have any problems thanks to the shirt.

    If there is ANY negative opinion to give, I'd have to agree with another reviewer and say I really do wish the shirt glowed in the dark. And if it cured gonorrhea, that would be sweet too....more info
  • Address Complications
    I am a US Navy sailor, on board USS John C. Stennis. The fact that I am visiting this page on Amazon should serve as enough evidence to justify my credentials when it comes to recognizing general awesomeness. Enough has been said up to this point about the 3WM shirt, that to add anything else would be unnecessary. Also, it would be unwarranted at this juncture, as I DON'T OWN THE SHIRT YET.

    Now, "how could this be?" you must be asking yourself. A person typing a review for the finest shirt on the planet, who claims to know something about being radical, yet doesn't own this shirt?

    For whatever reason, the website won't allow me to have this shirt shipped to an FPO-AP address. I am hoping this is a problem with a bad ship internet connection, or just some unusual 2 am finnickyness brought about by the stars or some nonsense, but seeing that "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt cannot be shipped to the selected address" message pop up has been breaking my heart over and over again, during the course of the last five hours. Until you help me (please oh please), I shall remain glued to this computer indefinitely. Gone the way of the beautiful nymph narcissus sitting poolside, I shall be left to a slow death at the hands of lethargy and starvation, vainly clicking away in hopes that maybe that next click will prompt a positive reaction from the confusing and hateful God of internets.

    I am eagerly awaiting the abilities to see through lead walls, make women orgasm spontaneously via dance, scale jagged mountain peaks without using any of my five primary limbs, and being able to talk to my dog Ozzie; but until this horrid situation is remedied, looks like I'm stuck lonely and sad, Munsoned and hopeless.

    PS: Also, how the hell are we ever supposed to win that war on terror or whatever? If Charlie can get the shirt, but it can't be shipped to the boat, than I forsee some pretty bad news stuff in the near future. Bullets are dangerous for non wolf shirt wearers.
    ...more info
  • I've had it for only two weeks, and now I'm pregnant! Powerful fertility devise
    No kidding! I've been trying to get pregnant for four years, and two weeks after wearing this to bed as my nightshirt, I am FINALLY PREGANT! I am calling it my 'DANCES WITH WOLVES FERTILITY DEVICE" and am going to lend it to any of my friends who need a little boost in THAT room of the house ;)
    ...more info
  • The Meaning Behind it all.
    Of all the T-Shirts in the world, the most famous is the "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt" from the land of pyramids. Say the word "archeology," and many people think "the Coca Cola shirt circa 1989." Had that short lived fad of a shirt(and those who lived before and after wearing it) been buried in a sand pit, however, their bodies would have undergone much less decay. Even so, what remains is interesting to see.

    Because grave robbers (who also stole artifacts such as Z Cavaricci, Gerbeau, and Kaepa) were such a problem, the mummies of the ancient pharaohs known to poses the "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt" were buried in hidden places in the Valley of the Kings. Even those graves were often plundered, although the mummies were not desecrated. If the final resting place of a pharaoh had been robbed, mummies would sometimes be moved to Western Thebes.

    Although not the most important pharaoh, King Tut is the most famous due to his dedication to the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt (thus giving the shirt its believed magical power). The treasures in his tomb, still completely intact when they were rediscovered in 1922, have been exhibited in many places outside Egypt (thus reviving the shirts sought after popularity). Today, Tut's mummy resides at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, shirtless (needless to say). ...more info
  • ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night
    In an instance of synchronicity that would make the not insubstantial eyebrow of Carl Gustav Jung arch as if impaled by an invisible fishhook at least two cultural events have recently occurred, with similar themes and leitmotifs, but vastly different ramifications. The first is the appearance of The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt. Anyone who gazes on this garment can sense the power it exudes. It is obviously both totem and talisman, and anyone who girds his loins with this potent example of neo-tribalism will find that it exerts a definite attraction to members of the opposite gender as if it had been doused with pheromones. It is a prime example of what self-proclaimed pick-up guru Mystery calls "pea cocking;" wherein a male wears an article of clothing as if he were displaying the proud plumage of the peacock, to attract the eye of a potential mate. Eye catcher, Ice breaker, conversation starter -- this shirt even serves as a Power Animal AND a good luck charm. The fact that it could be a mere placebo does nothing whatsoever to diminish the effect. If the wearer of the Three Wolf & Moon T-Shirt believes strongly enough, he will have the confidence to make his play, and one would hope the resilience to prevail irregardless of any initial rejection. Sooner or later, it will have to work.

    The second synchronous event is the publication of a certain book in China that I will return to after a brief detour to a little town that I like to call Synchroni City:

    Synchronous events reveal an underlying pattern, a conceptual framework which encompasses, but is larger than, any of the systems which display the synchronicity. Jung coined the word to describe "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." Jung introduced the notion as early as the 1920s but at that time it barely qualified as a gleam in his eye, let alone a concept. He only gave a full blown statement of it in 1951 in an Earanus lecture and then in 1952, published a paper, Synchronicity -- An Acausal Connecting Principle, in a volume with a related study by the physicist (and let's not forget Nobel laureate) Wolfgang Pauli.

    It was a principle that Jung felt gave conclusive and irrefutable evidence for his conceit of archetypes and the collective unconscious, in that it was descriptive of a governing dynamic that underlies the whole of human experience and history -- social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.

    The second "temporally coincident occurrence of an acausal event" which I briefly referred to above was the appearance of the novel, "Lang Tuteng," by Jiang Rong. In China, it has already sold over two million copies, and has been read in the pass-around black market by many more. It is said to be second in circulation only to Chairman Mao Zedong's Little Red Book (with Deng Hsiao Peng's Little Black Book of phone numbers nipping at its heels in third place). His novel is a thinly veiled political allegory about freedom that also takes pot shots at the orthodoxy of Confucianism. The author's real name is Lu Jiamin but "Lang Tuteng" was published under a pseudonym to appease China's communist leaders and protect the author.

    Recently translated by the venerable and extinguished Howard Goldblatt and published in English under the name WOLF TOTEM (a direct translation of Lang Tuteng), the book tells how a 21 year-old student of literature, amid Mao's Cultural Revolution, volunteered to go to the grasslands of inner Mongolia to learn from the peasants. He spent 11 years there, studying the Mongolian nomads and their worship of the wolf. These are, after all, the descendents of Attila, and the Mongolian shamans have used the wolf as a potent totem for at least two thousand years.

    It has been hinted by some that totemic culture spread from ancient Asiatic populations to the rest of the world, although this is unlikely because totemic cultures in North America are guestimated to be over 10,000 years old.
    Totemism (derived from the root -oode- in the Ojibwe language, which referred to something kinship-related, c.f. odoodem, "his totem") is a religious belief that is frequently associated with shamanistic religions. The totem is usually an animal or other naturalistic figure that spiritually represents a group of related people such as a clan.

    Although the term "totem" is of Ojibwa origin, totemistic beliefs are not restricted to Native American Indians. Similar totemism-like beliefs have been historically present throughout much of the world, including Africa, Asia, Australia, Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Polynesia, Micronesia, Mininesia, Amnesia, and the Arctic polar region.

    In modern times, some single individuals, not otherwise involved in the practice of a tribal religion, have chosen to adopt a personal spirit animal helper -- i.e. a Power Animal -- which has special meaning to them, and refer to this as a totem. This non-traditional usage of the term is prevalent in, but not altogether limited to, the cringe-inducing New Age movement, and the shoe gazing mythopoetic men's movement.

    Neotribalist ideology is rooted in the social philosophies of Jean-Jacques Rousseau and William Kingdon Clifford, who spoke of a "tribal self" thwarted by modern society. The Evolutionary Principle of anthropologist Claude Lvi-Strauss, which states that a species removed from the environment in which it evolved will become pathological, has been cited by Neotribalists as providing a scientific basis for their beliefs. One can easily imagine anthropologist Lvi-Strauss wearing a Three Wolf & Moon T-Shirt and a pair of ragged denims as he gives his lectures to his students at the Sorbonne. And what brand would those pants be?

    In his essay Le Totemisme aujourdhui (Totemism Today), Claude Lvi-Strauss shows that human cognition, which is based on analogical thought, is independent of social context. From this, he excludes mathematical thought, which operates primarily through logic. Totems are chosen arbitrarily for the sole purpose of making the physical world a comprehensive and coherent classificatory system. Lvi-Strauss argues that the use of physical analogies is not an indication of a more primitive mental capacity, such as one finds in Bakersfield. It is rather, a more efficient way to cope with this particular mode of life in which abstractions are rare, and in which the physical environment is in direct friction with the society. He also holds that scientific explanation entails the discovery of an arrangement; moreover, since the science of the concrete is a classificatory system enabling individuals to classify the world in a rational fashion, it is neither more nor less a science than any other in the western world. It is important to recognize that in this text the egalitarian nature of Lvi-Strauss and his work is manifested in all its force, and more importantly Lvi-Strauss perverts the interest of anthropology towards the cognition of human understanding, or is it the understanding of human cognition?

    Certain aspects of industrial and post-industrial life, including the necessity of living in a society of rank strangers and interacting with organizations that have memberships far above what would be deemed an ideal number are cited as inherently detrimental to the human mind as it has evolved over time. In a 1985 paper, "Psychology, Ideology, Utopia, & the Commons," psychologist Dennis Fox proposed a number around 150 people. Recently some supporters of neo-Tribalism have put forth the argument that their ideas have been scientifically proven by the discipline of evolutionary psychology. This claim has been highly disputed, however.

    Those that see Neotribalism as a political, pseudo-political, or dare-I-say quasi-political movement distinguish themselves from the reactionary Tribalism present in many parts of the globe (and you know who you are, Pittsburg) by emphasizing the necessity of establishing a global, or at the very least regional, network of connected co-operating intertwined tribes, as opposed to the isolated, quarrelling groups of traditional tribal society, with all their attendant billingsgate. This is a pre-emptive strike against the criticism by advocates of contemporary culture that tribal societies were almost invariably more violent and oppressive than modern ones.

    An interesting parallel to the WOLF TOTEM story, but this one involving a member of the Soviet Young Pioneers rather than the Revolutionary Red Guard, is Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf. In it, Peter wants to go for a walk but his father warns him about wolves. "Young Pioneers are not afraid of wolves," is his impertinent response. The debut on May 2nd, 1936 of this delightful composition was, in the composer's words, inauspicious at best: "[attendance] was poor and failed to attract much attention". He could scarcely have foreseen the success it would have once it was co-opted by the fascistic Disney machine, and provided with a narrative voice-over by Sterling Holloway. Other notable narrators have included Arthur Godfrey, Jos Ferrer, Sir John Gielgud, Basil Rathbone, Sean Connery, Boris Karloff, Christopher Lee, David Bowie, Dudley Moore, Melissa Joan Hart in her "Clarissa" persona from the Nickelodeon television series Clarissa Explains It All, Sting, William F. Buckley Jr., A recording featuring Mia Farrow as narrator and performed by the London Symphony Orchestra conducted by Andr Previn, Skitch Henderson, "Weird Al" Yankovic and Wendy Carlos produced a comedic version in 1988 using a synthesized orchestra, Captain Kangaroo, Sharon Stone, Lorne Greene, Carol Channing, and Patrick Stewart.

    There was also a recording with Paul Hogan as narrator with the Orchestre de Paris conducted by Igor Markevitch keeping the traditional plot but transferring the locale to the Australian Outback. (This recording was withdrawn shortly after its release because of unflattering portrayals of Australia's aboriginal people and is now considered "out of print".)

    Peter and the Wolf is scored for flute, oboe, clarinet in A, bassoon, 3 horns, trumpet, trombone, timpani, triangle, tambourine, cymbals, castanets, snare drum, bass drum and strings. The clarinet in A is an odd choice, considering that the standard clarinet is in Bb, but Prokofiev obviously felt that the clarinet in A was more catlike.

    Each character in the story has a particular instrument and a musical theme, or leitmotif:

    Bird = flute
    Duck = oboe
    Cat = clarinet
    Grandfather = bassoon
    Wolf = 3 horns
    Hunters = woodwind theme, with gunshots on timpani and bass drum
    Peter = string instruments

    Take special note that the part of the Wolf is scored for 3 horns, which adds up to one horn per wolf on the Three Wolf & Moon T-Shirt. The three wolves on the T-Shirt also illustrate an interesting point, that while howling in a pack, no two wolves will howl on the same note. There is harmony. If two wolves do start on the same note, one or both will change their beginning note. Why they do this is unclear, although some believe it makes the pack sound like a bigger group of animals and, therefore, more threatening to intruders. Looking at the shirt, one almost imagines the howls in three-part harmony.

    One day while hiking in the Yukon region of Alaska I heard a strange sound. It was a chorus of wolves, made up of at least two adults and two yearlings. It began with a single howl, which was relatively simple in structure. After a second or two, a second wolf joined in, followed by one or two more before the rest of the pack followed virtually en masse. This accelerating start makes it possible to pick out the first three or four individual wolves but, after that, too many begin howling at once to count them. Besides, usually only three have howled before the first wolf is ready to howl again, so is the fourth wolf howl in the chorus wolf number four howling for the first time, or wolf number one howling for the second time? Maybe the third wolf is howling for the second time, the second wolf is howling for the first time, and the first wolf is howling for the third time? Once the whole pack is howling, the sound becomes more and more modulated, changing pitch rapidly in what seems to be chaotic disorder. This continues with its wild oscillations and fluctuations until the chorus winds down a minute or so later.

    Rather than using howls with a single pure tone, wolves howling in a chorus use wavering or modulated howls. The rapid changes in pitch make it difficult to follow one individual's howls if several others are howling simultaneously. In addition, as the sound travels through the environment, trees, ridges, rock cliffs and valleys reflect and scatter it. Imagine, if you will, how that kind of racket would echo through the trailer park as you made your way to Wal-Mart? As a result, competing packs hear a very complex mix of both direct sound and echoes. If the howls are modulated rapidly enough, two wolves may sound like four or more. And three wolves? No telling what kind of a ruckus they could cause.

    Indeed, during the Civil War, General Ulysses S. Grant reported hearing what he took to be a pack of "not more than 20 wolves" while traveling. A short time later he reached the pair of wolves that had been making all the noise! This phenomenon, called the Beau Geste Effect (after the French Foreign Legion picture where fallen legionnaires were propped up along the fortress wall to look as if the desert outpost still held a formidable force), may introduce enough uncertainty to make size estimates not only unreliable, but potentially lethal, if a pack underestimates the size of its rival and approaches.

    Yet another temporally coincident occurrence of an acausal event was the film, Thumbsucker. In it, Lou Taylor Pucci as the titular Thumbsucker Justin Cobb undergoes hypnosis from his orthodontist, Dr. Perry Lyman (Keanu Reeves); who suggests that he choose a power animal to steel his resolve in conquering his thumb sucking habit. Young Cobb discerns that Dr. Lyman's power animal is in fact the wolf, obvious from the wolf paraphernalia that decorates his dental office, and uses that knowledge to disrupt a bicycle race by leaping out with a poster of a wolf with that universal symbol of disapproval -- a red circle with a slash -- drawn over it. This causes Dr. Perry Lyman as played by Keanu Reeves to crash his bicycle, thus losing the race. All too predictably, the expression on Mr. Reeves' stoneface never changes. Dr. Lyman will later reject and feel sheepish about his involvement in the mythopoetic men's movement.

    No survey of lupine archetypes would be complete without mentioning The Wolf as he appeared in Red Hot Riding Hood Created by animation director Tex Avery. This variation of the Big Bad Wolf's cartoons included many sexual overtones, violence, and very rapid gags, and never became as popular as the Disney incarnation, but was more popular with an older crowd (especially soldiers in World War II). He appeared in Red Hot Riding Hood (1943), in which he was heavily aroused by The Girl's song and dance performance. Variations of this wolf were also seen in Wild and Wolfy, Swing Shift Cinderella and Little Rural Riding Hood. The wolf was voiced by Frank Graham in Red Hot Riding Hood and throughout most of the 1940s, with famed voice actor Daws Butler providing the howling. Afterward, throughout most of the 1950s, Daws Butler and Paul Frees took over as the wolf's new voice actor in most cases. This image also crops up in numerous tattoos, hot rod decals, and the artwork of painter Robert Williams. Jim Carrey also pays homage to Tex Avery's version of The Wolf in a nightclub scene in his film, The Mask.

    Though I might not have seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, or naked, and I have missed completely the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night, I just might go for a night of howling at the moon. I can see myself wearing this shirt to the Monday Open Mic Night at Trout's in Oildale, and in my guitar case I will have a dog eared copy of Wolf Totem by Jiang Rong. That way, no matter what side of the socio-economic-intelligence spectrum my quarry occupies, I will have it covered. In my set I will make sure to include a blues number by Chester Burnett, alias Howlin' Wolf.

    Wolf Totem: A Novel - Paperback (Mar 31, 2009) by Jiang Rong and Howard Goldblatt

    Totems: The Transformative Power of Your Personal Animal Totem (Paperback) by Brad Steiger

    Animal Spirit Guides: An Easy-To-Use Handbook for Identifying and Understanding Your Power Animals and Animal Spirit Helpers [ANIMAL SPIRIT GUIDES] (Paperback) by Steven D. Farmer Ph.D. (Author)

    Never Cry Wolf : Amazing True Story of Life Among Arctic Wolves (Paperback) by Farley Mowat

    The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Castaneda

    Riding Windhorses: A Journey into the Heart of Mongolian Shamanism (Paperback) by Sarangerel

    Rio by Duran Duran (Hungry Like the Wolf)

    Howlin Wolf: The Chess Box by Howlin' Wolf

    David Bowie Narrates Prokofiev's "Peter and the Wolf"

    Beau Geste (1939) .... Starring Gary Cooper, Ray Milland, and Robert Preston (an earlier silent version was made in 1926 starring Ronald Colman)

    ...more info
  • Better as pants!
    Due to the wide variety of good reviews that this shirt has gotten I couldn't help but get it for myself! I ordered it online and had it shipped to me through the secret teleportation service so I could try it on immediately.

    The first thing that I noticed when I put it on was that I felt like the world had become my feral playground. I howled at my ceiling fan since it was the closest thing to the moon in my room. I felt the spirit of the three wolves traveling with me.

    I then decided to put it on as pants (since I do not currently own a pair) and found that once they were dawned around my thighs that I could run as fast as a wolf! Now I never takes of my new Three wolf pants as there is nothing better in the world that can be worn around one's waist. Surely the gods themselves wear this shirt as all forms of clothing. ...more info
  • Romancing the wolf
    This T-shirt changed my life. Each time I wear it to the beach, I catch fish. Not just any fish, I catch the biggest fish. The wolves intrigue the fish and they come up for a look. I tickle their chins and the fish follow me to the shore, intrigued by the wolves and the moon.
    This is no joke! If you wear this Tee while fishing, you will save tons of money on hooks and bait.
    Not recommended for rivers with Catfish....more info
  • Felt The Power!
    I ordered the shirt for two reasons: (1)I am a 'woof' kinda guy (Gay reference) and (2)I saw Charlie Gibson showcase it on air. I'm pretty fit, so I ordered a medium with the hopes it would hug my chest and and biceps just so. It was washed in cold-water Woolite and fits like a glove! I went to the local Mall for lunch and both guys and gals wanted to lick me...

    If I had more than an hour for lunch, I would've let'em! :-D...more info
  • My Three Wolf Dads
    Many claim they've been raised by wolves. Unfortunately, for me, I was and now my three wolf Dads are cashing in on this amazing picture I took by selling this sexy Wolf t-shirt to men trying to meet hot women. What gives wolf Dads? Didn't even bother to tell your human son you penned this massive t-shirt deal with a US distributor? Thanks a lot. I always knew you wolves were super-jealous of Teen Wolf because he was kind of a wolf hybrid, really really good at basketball and was famous within his highschool -- but I never expected that you'd sell-out like this. What's next, a NBC sitcom called MY THREE WOLF DADS starring Michael J Fox (or Jason Bateman) as your fake son? So wolfin' mad right now, so don't even try to howller at me tonight....more info