|Your Erroneous Zones
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From the author of the multimillion-copy bestseller Pulling Your Own Strings, positive and practical advice for breaking free from the trap of negative thinking and enjoying life to the fullest.
- If you're plagued by guilt or worry and find yourself unwittingly falling into the same old self-destructive patterns, then you have "erroneous zones"--whole facets of your approach to life that act as barriers to your success and happiness.
- If you believe that you have no control over your feelings and reactions, you give up the many choices that are available to you. Dyer shows how you can take charge of yourself and manage how much you will let difficult times--and people--affect you.
- If you spend more time worrying what others think than working on what you want and need, you will always be disappointed. Dyer shows that only you can make yourself happy and points the way to true self-reliance.
- If you are still caught up in old labels for yourself and an out-of-date self-image, you cancel out your present potential. Dyer shows how you can break out of the patterns of the post to become fulfilled in the present.
- If you depend upon others for your well-being, you lose yourself. Dyer shows how to take control of your own needs and learn to give and receive love without limits.
- Only Living for Yourself
"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." ~ George Bernard Shaw
Wayne W. Dyer has written some great books but this is not one of my favorites. The reason for this is that he says too many things that are not true. For example he claims that there are "no absolutes." By saying that he has made an absolute statement and believes in an absolute.
Another bad idea is saying there is no right or wrong. He also doesn't seem to see the good of feeling guilty - it might make you stop repeating a bad or destructive behavior and is there for a purpose. There are obviously things you shouldn't feel guilty for but I disagree with him about eradicating "all" guilt. There are some things you should feel guilty about so it causes you to do the right thing.
Wayne Dyer also claims that worry is wasteful and does nothing to change the future. That is incorrect because if you didn't worry about having enough money you might be out on the street without a home or a job. Another strange statement included the thought that failure does not exist. From looking at the world in general you can see all the failures of mankind. After making that statement, Wayne Dyer goes on to say: "Failure can be instructive. Without failure we can learn nothing." Which is it? Obviously failure exists.
For anyone who has ever had a mental illness, the following will make them mad. Wayne Dyer claims that intelligent people don't have nervous breakdowns. I have personally seen intelligent people who can't choose happiness over depression because they have a chemical imbalance in their brains and need to take medication for their entire life in order to function as a normal human being. So are those people not intelligent?
So the main message of this book seems to be "living for yourself despite the cost." While it is good to eliminate some self-destructive behaviors and it is good to eradicate negativity in your life I think this book presents some serious issues you will need to address. If you read it seriously then you may find some discrepancies that don't sit well with the rational mind. I have in the past enjoyed many of Wayne Dyers books so instead of this one I would recommend: Wisdom of the Ages: 60 Days to Enlightenment and Getting in the Gap: Making Conscious Contact with God Through Meditation (Book with CD).
~The Rebecca Review
- Helpful as expected
I did find the topics discussed in this book to be helpful when it comes to understanding why we put things like unnecessary stress and worry upon ourselves, however this book could be more helpful if it included more advice on overcoming these issues, basically, I found it to be more 'why' than 'how'. I'd recommend having this book around and reading it every couple/few weeks whenever you are in a rut or a rough patch because it is hard to remember to apply these thought processes long after having read the book. One of the good things about this book is that you don't have to read all of it, you can just focus on the parts that are plaguing you at the current time ie: worry, guilt & procrastination. ...more info
- Your Erroneous Zones
Excellent suggestions for improving your life and self esteem. It truly has helped me feel much better about myself....more info
- Recognize Emotional weakness and work on maturing
It is well known that humans cannot mature emotionally unless one takes the initiative to look into oneself. It is easier to point the finger away from us.
When we have a flu, we take some steps to address it. We may rest for a whole day, then decide to take some medication, and then, if necessary, see a doctor. In other words (1) We are good at sensing that we have a physical problem (2) We know that we need to do something about the problem (3) We first attempt to solve the physical problem ourselves (4) If that fails or if incapable or ignorant of the problem, we don't hesitate to seek outside help (e.g. doctor).
It is ironic that at the emotional level, we may even not reach the first step, i.e. recognize that there is an emotional weakness! However, if a physical adult recognizes that he/she is an emotional child (i.e. suffering from things such as anger, guilt, lack of assertiveness, etc.) and needs help, Dr. Dyer is a gift to that person.
Dr. Dyer does a superb job of:
(1) Helping us understand the problem ('erroneous zone').
(2) Offering concrete steps to work at the problem in our daily life.
His presentation style is worthy of note - His way of driving home a point by using metaphors and a touch of sarcasm makes it very easy for the reader to assimilate the subject matter.
As with any book on personal development, reading the book is only the starting point. One has to put in effort. As John Bradshaw says, "It will work if you will work." Pick the top 2 or 3 erroneous zones, chip away at it, and discover yourself blossoming.
"Your erroneous zones" is a book as well as a timeless reference manual....more info
- Great book!
Years a go a heart broken lady told me that the book gave her a new life. I immediately bought the book and was positively surprised how interesting and helpful this book is!...more info
- Find Your True Self
Have you ever asked yourself questions like: "What do I want to do next?", "What do I really want?" and "How can I be true to myself?". If that is the case, this book will answer most of your questions.
What I like about the book is that it is concise, complete and full of practical solutions. Each chapter is a move towards goal like for example "taking charge", "First Love i.e yourself :)", "Exploring the Unknown" and "Breaking the barrier of convention". It identifies the weakness inhibiting you from achieving this goal, the rewards for keeping this self defeating behavior and finally some easy and pragmatic strategies to overcome the weakness.
I have this book and keep it, because I like to read it again and again. I read it recently and it was great to see my progress from the first time I read it, but also acknowledge that some erroneous zones die hard. It is also a book I like to give to my loved ones, because it is truly liberating.
The good news is that the rewards of this book are not only felt at a personal level, but they radiate in the workplace and in your family. Once you know how to respect your true self desire, you know how to respect others desires and foster at work an environment of creativity and true added value. With this book you become a true model for your children and learn how to avoid using manipulation to raise them.
This book is a true classic full of Dr Wayne Dyer's wisdom. So take charge and see how well you score on the "Erroneous Zone" spectrum. We all have them :). In summary, a great book.
- Take responsibility for your emotions, your life
This book has truly helped me identify what Dyer refers to as "erroneous zones" in my life. He discusses anger, dependency on others, success and failure, guilt, worry, blame and procrastination. Ways to identify behaviors that encompass these constructs, and suggestions on dealing with them are very helpful.
Much of the book encourages introspection, and identifying our own behaviors that contribute to unhappiness or perceived failures in life. I really like how he states that you (the reader) are responsible for your own emotions and actions. What others do should not have the power to control or negatively effect our lives.
It's tough reading at times, especially when I've come across an area that I know I need to address. This will be a book I'll read again and again, as the breadth of knowledge and suggestions Dyer has compiled cannot be completely absorbed through one reading. ...more info
- Loved the book!!
I had read this book a long time ago and totally enjoyed it....more info
- Improving my self confidence
I'm a reader,and I like to read this kind of books, and, to tell you the true, YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES has been one of the best books I have ever read in my life. I remember I read it by first time when I was 16 years old, and I notice there were changes in my life. It helped me to feel better with myself and also it opened my eyes to the world,because I could see the world and human beings from a different prospect, and, the most important;it increased my self-confidence,because of the fact I started to have better human relations ship with people I delay everyday,that's why, I really recomend this book to everyone,mainly young people,because if you follow these advices and you learn how to aply to your daily life, I am sure you'll get good results. It's important to mention after reading this book I realize if you get angry for anything, or for other people,because they are "different" from you,or because happen something you didn't expect from any person or any situation,you are not going to make anything good,because all of them are in control of your life.It was one of the most interestin teachings I learned from this book, because, you are the only person who can control your life. You should read it. It's up to you to do it. Thanks........more info
- One of the most inspiring books I have ever read.
I read this book at a time when there was much confusion in my life. It started me on a journey of self discovery. It is difficult to describe the motivation I received from this wonderful book. Not only has this book changed my life, but also the lives of the people I gave the book to. A must read for anyone who is interested in inproving the quality of life....more info
- LIFE SAVER - - FINDING YOURSELF!
I highly recommend this book for anyone, teenagers to elderly ... if read with an open mind and a thirst to understand themselves, they will be stronger, have more self-confidence, and be less easily influenced by others. I read this book when it first came out and I was going through some really tough times! This book actually changed the course of my life, in the respect that it showed me that no person could make me happy, or sad or anything emotional -- I had the control over those things where I was concerned. I learned that someone's anger, even at me, was about them, not about me. I have purchased this book many times over the years and I read it again for myself, then give it to someone who is in need of the revelations I found....more info
- Common Sense Choices
As in all his other works, Wayne Dyer helps the reader find common sense within himself. Though the writing seems simple it is actually very profound. Unlike the majority of Anthony Robbins' books, Dyer doesn't use his own book for promoting seminars and that I find refreshing. Each chapter contains useful advice and the book as a whole is coordinated in such a way as to lead the reader from one important, logical sequence to the next.
Al L. Smith. author of "The Winning Zone"....more info
- Opened my eyes to the truth
I read this book when I was fourteen. I am now seventeen. Wayne Dyre told me the truth in this book about life, the TRUTH that requires no logic because it is so simple. At the time I read the book, the truth was something that the adults I knew and depended on had lost long ago, and which I was in desparate need of. Thanks to his book, my life took a turning point. Rather than feeling confused by the strange and painful circumstances surrounding me, I learned how to see them clearly. I saw past the surface of problems and to the core of what made people tick. Dyre, in ERRONEOUS ZONES, relates his understanding of human defense mechanisms and how they effect others, and how you can deal with the people around you that use these mechanisms as weapons. Best of all, you can learn how to destroy your own. And once you do this, and you stop functioning from your ego, your problems will become clearer. Don't get me wrong. Magical solutions is not what this book offers. It does, however, offer a sane perspective on living with your problems. And the trick lies in the fact that the perspective and the solution are one in the same thing. This book's message will open the door, but you must step inside. It is a great book. Please read it for yourself. And if it affects you (as I know it will) in the same way it affected me, give it to family and friends. They may be defensive about accepting, from you, a book that they feel is "self-help," but after having read ERRONEOUS ZONES you'll understand why they resort to this type of reaction. READ IT, AND PASS IT ON!! the truth is rarely so evident as it is in this book. And i've read a couple of his other ones, but this one was by far the most powerful. Dyre really gets it. Maybe you will too....more info
- Rational, logical and realistic
I listen to this audio cassette in my car on a regular basis, particularly when I start feeling down. This cassette, along with Pulling your own Strings, helps one to escape the emotional manipulation by others, especially those close to you! Ironic as that may seem, it is those closest to one who are the biggest culprits when it comes to emotional manipulation. Wayne Dyer helps one to recognise those pitfalls and how to eliminate them - not just avoid them. In so doing, one learns to build up ones own strength....more info
- Your Erroneous Zones
I never received the book from Bargain Basement Books. I have tried to resolve the problem with the seller by sending 3 e-mails but I have never received a response. ...more info
- This book is a classic
This book is a classic in the self-help psychology world. My mother was a psychiatric nurse in the alcoholism/addiction treatment unit at a major metropolitan DC area hospital back in the late 70s/early 80s. They MADE the entire staff in the treatment unit read this book. I read it too, and it is great! Everyone should read this book! It really will help you identify a lot of dysfunctional thinking and attitudes that you carry around with you. I even know of a person who was depressed whose depression disappeared after reading this book! It is THAT good!...more info
- A Book To Read Over and Over Again
My mother recommended this book to me- she had an old 1970s edition, when it was first released. It soon fell apart because I read and lended it to so many people, so many times. This is an incredible book that states in simple, beautiful terms the intrinsic ability for everyone to control how they feel, love themselves, and LOVE LIFE! If you ever find yourself apologising for no reason, allowing others to manipulate you, or feel depressed based on externalities, Wayne Dyer describes specific steps one can take to never be bored or out of control again, ironically by realizing so much of life is OUTSIDE of our control, and thus the only thing we can control is our reaction to life.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"
- The Shawshank Redemption
Highly recommended self-help and self-esteem builder- this book will, if not change your life, teach you steps to take control of it! :-)...more info
- Only for people unhappy with themselves
I heard an interview with Dyer and Tony Robbins so I decided to listen to one of Dyer's audiobooks. I was really disappointed. The entire thing was him talking so softly it was very boring. I feel this CD is good for people who are very unhappy with their lives, depressed, etc. But if you're relatively happy with yourself and just looking for a fun program to try, THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT IT!...more info
- One of the Worst I've Read...
I have no prior experience with Dr. Dyer or his principles, so I was curious about what this book would be about. The cover promises to help me banish negativity in my life and help me become a happier, more productive person. But upon reading the book, all I can conclude is that Dr. Dyer suffers from some of his own erroneous zones, and fills his own book with negative statements and blame.
The contempt for his reader is obvious. At the beginning of the book he talks about "intelligent" people being the only ones who can reach self-actualization (implying that the reader of his book, who clearly is unhappy and hasn't reached a state of actualization, is unintelligent). Instead of trying to gently help the reader change their mindset and thus their life, he constantly berates us for having so many problems, and throughout the book he places boatloads of blame on us for not thinking the right way. He actually accuses his readership of getting sick (like with cancer or the flu) because we want to be, not because of any physical reason. He says we need to be independent in thought, but then he goes on to list all the ways we need to change to his idea of how we should think. He claims that anger has no role and is a learned choice (tell that to any baby you see who throws his toys/food in frustration). And this goes on and on throughout the book.
Also, his "helpful advice" is usually just common sense and sometimes even unhelpful. "Deliberately fail at something." "Don't let your convictions keep you stagnant," etc. These are all old standby phrases that I've read in several other self-help books, they're not teaching me anything different.
Dr. Dyer comes across as a crank who's had one too many whiney patients, and the book also seems to be filled with creepy pet peeves that he he has, like he thinks that the worst thing you can say to someone is "I'm tired." What? And he thinks you should never say "It's a nice day, isn't it?" because you're subordinating yourself by asking a question. Give me a break! It's like he took all his pet peeves and things that irk him, put them in a book, and then tried to twist it around to fit his "positive thinking" persona, but it didn't work (on me, at least.)
I'm really shocked to see so many glowing reviews of this book. I actually happened to be reading one of those "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" books at the same time I read this book, and was struck by how differently the two men approach the subject. Where Carlson genuinely seems to want to lift you up, Dyer seems intent on tearing you down under the guise of being helpful. Bummer! Huge thumbs down....more info
- Breaking away from needing approval.
This book showed me a way out of 14 years of self-destructive behavior. The ideas expressed are SO simple and after reading just the first few chapters I knew that I had finally stumbled onto a gold mine of "how to live the happiest life possible." I would like to comment about the review from Feb 2002, Dr. Dyer does not "over-stress the idea of complete personal autonomy" in regard to marital relationships. What Dr. Dyer stresses is that if a person gives up something unwillingly; because of guilt, worry, or out of the need for approval, etc., then THAT is the point where it becomes an erroneous zone (self-defeating behavior) giving freely and lovingly to a spouse/significant other must come from personal choice.
This is an outstanding book! I have my mom's original copy from 1976 and never read it until now. Some of the references are a little dated (songs quoted, cultural-norm examples) but the message transcends time. I HIGHLY recommend this book, especially if you feel you've lost control of your own happiness....more info
- awesome book
In my personal development quest, Wayne Dyer is one of the best. Many people consider his (and many others) methods to be "too simplistic" or they say that if you're already satisfied with yourself, by all means skip this book, but if you are human, and are not perfect, you will find something very useful in this book, whatever it may be, to assist you in becoming the person you want to be....more info
- To me, a sacred text
I originally read this book back in the late 80s. I'm not quite sure the exact year, but it was some time toward the middle of high-school. It was passed on to me by a friend who was desperate to help me out of a downward spiral. I have to admit, the first time I read "Your Erroneous Zones", I dismissed it as psychobabble. Looking back on it today, 20 years later, I can clearly see that I was not ready to accept the concepts that Dr. Dyer was presenting.
Over the next few years, I would find myself coming back to this book. There was something about it that kept creeping back into my mind. Perhaps a subconscious draw to some scrap of truth my brain had held on to from earlier readings. Nonetheless, I've probably read this book 10 times over the last 20 years. Each time, I inched closer and closer to making the choice to apply the principles within it's pages.
Finally, after all that time, and a lot of life experience, I've found Dr. Dyer's methods work for me. The concepts contained in this book helped me make the choice to live a happy life that I am in control of. I am happier now than I have ever been, and the only way that will change is if I choose to change it.
I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone with the forewarning that if you don't go into it with an open mind, or at least the willingness to accept that there are other ways to approach life than the ones you are used to, you won't gain anything from the material presented. ...more info
- Wayne Dyer Before He Got On The New Age Bandwagon
This book is one of the best books, perhaps even the best book I've ever read in terms of gaining control over one's life. It is truly empowering in the best sense of the idea. It comes down to the fact that you are a "choice making individual". No matter what the situation is that comes up you can still choose how to react to it.
To illustrate... I used to believe that I had certain tendencies (like "worrying" about all the "what ifs" for example) that were somehow out of my control. The idea of buying into the idea that some things were just "family traits" that I was helplessly born into, that "we come from a family of neurotic people who worry".
I have a particular favorite story which is on the audio tape version of the book (I can't remember if it's in the printed version of the book.... the audio seems pretty much like he's extemporizing on the principles outlined in the book). He tells of how he was in a restaurant and the manager/owner of the restaurant is getting very upset and emotional at an employee. Dr. Dyer says to the guy something like "Look at yourself, you're going to give your self a heart attack by the time your fifty" to which the gentleman replies "I am fifty two and I had a heart attack two years ago" to which Dr. Dyer says something like "Then why do you do this to yourself ? " to which the fellow says "What do you want from me.... I'm Italian !" ..... as if that was an explanation for why he was getting himself all worked up.
Wayne really helps one realize that they don't have to "buy into" feeling like they are helpless victims of their cultural background, family dynamics and, Genetic tendencies etc. While these may all seem to be the same thing there are in fact subtle differences between them.
I have recommended this book and it's audio version for countless people who have felt "out of control" of their emotions.
The ideas in this book really work if you are willing to finally let go of the mental crap in your life that is holding you back from being happier and healthier in every way. This is not to put on Rose Colored glasses, but to be able to "catch yourself" before you go into reacting the way you "always do" and really asking yourself if it is necessary.
Of course there are things in life where "worry" (for example if a loved one is ill) might be an unavoidable and compassionate emotion. But I'm talking about the sort of "worry" that is about things that "might happen". How many people spin endless tales of woe that will never come to pass.
Regarding Waynes other work, much of it has gone the way of the worst sort of New Age thought.
While I personally think that there is much New Age thinking that can be beneficial (especially in terms of having people more accepting of others rather than being narrow minded and bigotted), often it seems to be used to avoid having compassion (as in the idea that "Everything is perfect" so why help starving people).
This being said, "Erroneous Zones" is still one of those books I will always recommend and re-read (or listen to) when I find myself slipping into old mental habit patterns.
Another book along these lines that I also highly recommend is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabot Zinn....more info
- This book is second only to the scriptures in changing my life!
I read this book as a teenager over 25 years ago as a required text in a college class called psychology of human relations. I grew up being afraid of my own shadow, I was "so shy." This book helped me to realize the errors in my thinking that were holding me back from being the person I knew I could be. It also helped me to realize that I was responsible for my own happiness and that others could not control my thoughts and emotions, only I could. I also realized it is not fair to other people for me to depend on them to make me happy. Next to the holy scriptures, I think this book has helped me more than any other book to realize happiness and joy in life. Recently 25 years later, I found the book in a box and decided to read it again. I have bought several copies and given them to friends that I thought could benefit from reading it. It truly is good advice!...more info
- This Book Changed My Life!
I read this book twenty years ago when I was seventeen years old. It completely changed my life. It`s by far one of the best books I have ever read. When reading the book I found that I had almost all of the erroneous zones that he mentions throughout the book. It really put me on the road to taking control of my life. Just a wonderful book full of wonderful quotes and anecdotes. This is what they should teach in school before anything else. Then the rest would take care of itself. Truly!...more info
- One of the best
This was the first "self help" book I read, and even now, years later, I remember the message Wayne Dyer stressed, which was the uselessness of worry and guilt. I highly recommend this book, it is very healing and uplifting....more info
- This Book Saved My Life
When I was 17 I had just left the hospital after loosing 14 units of blood from GI bleeding. A couple of weeks earlier I was given 48 hours to live, then my bleeding stopped as mysteriously as it had started. However, I went home with some very high restrictions on my diet and activity.
Prior to entering the hospital, I was a very active teen and very popular in school. Afterwards, I found myself unable to participate in the activities and routine of which I was accustomed. I became withdrawn and lost almost all my friends. There were even times, standing on my parents balcony, when I would consider jumping and ending it all.
That winter we spent the Christmas holidays with my uncle in Vermont. I woke up early from my uncle's sofa on Christmas morning and happened to spy a book "Your Erroneous Zones" under the tree, which was apparently given as a Christmas gift to my aunt. After reading the introduction and first chapter of this book, I felt hope in my life for the first time since my illness.
When I returned home I bought the book and it changed my live. I am now 45 years old and have never looked back. Life has had its challenges, but Dr. Dyer's advice has always been there to get me through. If you really want to take charge of your life, and be happy no matter what then this book is for you!