|The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers
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Guaranteed to help parents reclaim sweet dreams for their entire family.
New from the bestselling author of the classic baby sleep guide!
Getting babies to sleep through the night is one thing; getting willful toddlers and energetic preschoolers to sleep is another problem altogether. Written to help sleep-deprived parents of children ages one to five, The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers offers loving solutions to help this active age-group get the rest they -- and their parents -- so desperately need.
A follow-up to Elizabeth Pantley's megahit The No-Cry Sleep Solution, this breakthrough guide is written in Pantley's trademark gentle, child-centered style. Parents will discover a wellspring of positive approaches to help their children get to bed, stay in bed, and sleep all night, without having to resort to punishments or other negative and ineffective measures. The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers tackles many common nighttime obstacles, including:
- Refusals to go to bed,
- Night waking and early rising,
- Reluctance to move out of the crib and into a big-kid bed,
- Nighttime visits to the parents' bed,
- Naptime problems,
- Nightmares, "night terrors," and fears,
- Special sleep issues of twins, special needs children, and adopted children,
- Sleepwalking, sleep talking, snoring, and tooth grinding
- Well-written book
Before I had a baby, I did not realize that there were two schools of thought regarding how to get children to sleep through the night. If you are like me, the thought of letting your child "cry it out," like some doctors will advocate, sounded incredibly harsh. There had to be a better way of teaching your baby to sleep.
Elizabeth Pantley does just that in her book. Her research includes real mothers, real experiences, and their stories of successful sleeping.
My son had acid reflux for six long months and did not sleep through the night. When the acid reflux was no longer an issue, his sleeping patterns continued to be interrupted. Our pediatrician even told us that we had the right to "shut the door and let him cry." He had never been in his crib to sleep--instead, only in a bouncy seat to keep him upright because of the reflux. Why now, were we supposed to punish him for having had the reflux and having his sleep interrupted by putting him in his crib and letting him "cry it out?" I did not agree with this method. A friend having the same problem sent me this life-saver-of-a-book.
I soon realized that there was another VALID option to letting babies "cry it out." If you are looking for a loving, peaceful option, this is your book. It is not an overnight solution, but neither is "crying it out," contrary to popular belief. However, it does work and it has worked beautifully for me. My son is now sleeping through the night and I have Elizabeth Pantley and her well-written book to thank. Do yourself and your precious child a favor and buy this book.
- Super Book :)
This book has a lot of great practical ideas for helping get your little one to sleep better at night!!! We had a lot of success using these strategies with our 11 month old son. We also invested in a video baby monitor so we could see him and not rush in with every little peep he made at night!! ...more info
- Thank god this book exists!!!
I read "The no-cry sleep solution", and loved it, but I was needed something for my now toddler who is presenting a million new problems. The most wonderful thing about this book is that it asks you questions in a non-judgemental way that then allow you to assess your situation, and decide if you really need to make a change, then it gives you a variety of solutions. The author points out that there is no one size fits all solution, and then she goes on to give you many gentle and loving options. If the cry it out method worked for you, you wouldn't be reading this review, now would you??? I'm not aware of any sleep books that deal specifically with older children, other than this . All the ones I know of deal with 6 month old babies, and I found most to be unacceptable for a toddler dealing with separation anxiety. This book however, talks about many individual sleep problems including separation anxiety, how to move to their own bed, nightmares, waking too early, daylight savings time, teething, non-nappers, trips to the parent's bed... The list goes on and on. One more wonderful thing about this book is that the author did more of a scientific study on the matter. She interviewed over a 1000 families, and then had over 200 "test mommies" to work out her sleep theories. She also refers to the Sleep in America polls, and refers to the current leading sleep expert at Stanford (not Ferber). Instead of just giving her opinions on what worked for her own children (she has 4), she actually asks other families and does research. Despite my own personal objections to Ferberizing, she makes no judgements like that, everything she says is loving and encouraging.
Just for the record, you're not alone. Here's an excerpt from the book taken out of the Sleep in America Poll:
Toddlers wake up:
3 or more times a night (4%)
2 x a night (5%)
1 x a night (38%)
in other words, 47% of toddlers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep. This is including all sleep techniques.
3 or more times a night (2%)
2 x a night (3%)
1 x a night (31%)
in other words, 36% of preschoolers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep.
She then goes on to say that "it is perfectly natural, absolutely normal, and totally expected for your toddler or preschooler to wake up in the night and need your help to fall back asleep. Sleeping all through the night, every night, without needing a parent's assistance is like learning to walk or talk or drink from a cup - all kids get there, but they do so at their own speed, a little at a time, and in their own unique way. I promise I won't leave you dangling there, just because something is normal doesn't mean you have to simply live with it until things change on their own."
I won't lie, if you want immediate results in a matter of days, this is not the book for you. However, if you'd like to teach your child to sleep in a loving, gentle, compassionate (and thus slow) way, this book will help you get there. I've been practicing the ideas in this book for a few days, and already I'm seeing some improvements. It has many creative ways to communicate with your child your wishes for sleep. Like - make a book with pictures of your bedtime routine, and a picture of your child sleeping in his own crib, then cuddled by his parents in the morning...
Good luck, and hope you get to sleeping better!
- Helpful encouragement, good ideas
If you are looking for a gentle approach to helping your child sleep through the night, this is a great book. I also appreciate that the author is sensitive to the needs of mothers who are breastfeeding their toddler or pre-schooler. It is encouraging to read that you are not alone in having a toddler who does not sleep through the night. This book has some good ideas that I have used, but I have not put the full method to use. The downsides of this book are that the full method requires a long-term commitment and effort and if you have any doubts about it - as I did - you are not likely to follow through. Also, the author at times is too rigid about not letting your child cry. I have not practiced the "cry it out" approach at all, but with my child's temperment and personality there are times when she cries for a few minutes in bed before falling asleep and I have had to come to accept that as a reality. ...more info
- Consistency is the key
I think when any parent picks up a book like this, the situation is already out of control or at least something that needs tweaked. I found myself with a newborn baby and a 2 yr old that a couple months before moved from our bed to her own "big girl bed". Little by little my little girl found her way back into our bed. There was no room for me, my husband, a newborn and a toddler, so my husband ended up sleeping in our daughter's room. Something really wrong with that picture. I was searching the internet for some answers for my questions and to look for a fix, and found Elizabeth Pantley who was looking for test moms for her new book for toddlers and preschoolers. I was fortunate enough to be selected as a "test Mom" for this book and very proud to say that the modifications that we made as a family worked for us.
Every one wants instant results, they think by reading something it will miraculously happen. It takes time, some kids adjust well quickly, some will adjust over many months, but the importance of this book is that consistency is the key. I could have given up many times to get my daughter and later my son into their own beds, but I knew that it wasn't going to be overnight and I came to accept that.
My daughter has a nightly routine, it is still the same routine at 6 as it was at 2. I took what Elizabeth Pantley gave to me, and applied it to our bedtime battles. I am not saying that you have to use what she says word for word, you may have to make adjustments that work for you and your childs personality. But I do know that it works. My daughter slept through the night at 2.5 yrs old and my son was about 13 months, and thankfully I had this book because I was able to curtail some of his bedtime battles at a much early age.
Yes it does work and it is a very easy read, but like I said, if you are looking for a quick fix, I think you will be hard pressed to find that anywhere. If you are serious about making a change, Elizabeth gives many options and alternatives to make this a successful change. ...more info
I have an 18 month old who did not sleep well for the first year because of medical issues. I bought this book because even though she was better, she was still a terrible sleeper. Other books I previewed all assumed my toddler was sleeping in my bed and I was still nursing! I was shocked how such small changes made a difference in her sleep. I felt that the information in this book was helpful for understanding the process of falling asleep and staying asleep, and it covers every sleep issue you can think of (monsters, day light saving time, sleep walking). I am thrilled with the results!...more info
- The Best!
This is the only book I've found on sleep issues that is detailed, practical, AND compassionate. Pantley shares my values of intimacy and kindness for your baby, but has the wealth of experience and data to suggest things that actually work. Not quickly, not magically, but steadily and gently....more info
- Great Book!!
I have read both of the no-cry sleep solutions books and think both are great. Now that my child is a toddler, I am putting a lot of the suggestions/tips in her new book into use. Must have for anyone who doesn't practice or believe in the crying it out methods. This book has helped us to evaluate our childs sleeping habits and fix problem areas. Great book....more info
- Commonsense solutions
In "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers," Elizabeth Pantley sweeps through the clamor of parenting philosophies with commonsense solutions. Not sure how to solve your little one's sleep problem -- or if it's really a problem at all? Pantley provides objective, non-judgmental questions to help guide you toward answers that work for you, your child and your entire family. Her genuinely family-centered approach balances the demands of parents and children alike with respect, flexibility and humor. Pantley's inclusive strategies offer alternatives for all sorts of families and all sorts of parenting styles. You won't find a more realistic, practical approach to solving sleep dilemmas. -- Lisa Poisso, editor, Natural Family Online magazine (naturalfamilyonline.com)...more info
My husband and I were pulling our hair out with frustration from night after night of no sleep. Our son just turned 1 and was waking up several times a night, fighting us to no end not to go to sleep. Naps were impossible and bedtime was a screamfest. We tried the "cry it out" method, and that only made our son HATE his crib. He would start freaking out the moment we went to place him in it. When I saw this book and thumbed through it, I knew we had to try it. I had already spent countless hours online trying to research different sleep training ideas, none of which worked. I love that the first thing the author addresses is that we are not failures because our child is not sleeping at night....THANK YOU! The book is really easy to read, and easy to implement. Both my husband and I work, and it's easy to set up a routine that works for both parents. After only 3 nights our son has gone to bed every night at 8pm without a fight. Granted he is still waking up at 4am, but we'll work on that next. Thank you...Thank you..THANK YOU to the author.....finally SLEEP!!!! ...more info
- Loved this book!
I found so many of the suggestions in this book to be helpful, and even bought it as a gift for another mom....more info
- Helpful book for good nights rest!
The delivery was great! The book is very infomative and easy to read as well as understand.I also appreciated that she takes away any guilt from not doing it the way everyone else says and do what you feel comfortable with for your child! I have already implemented some of the things in the book with my own 3 year old. Would recommend to anyone who has a restless or hard to fall asleep toddler/preschooler!...more info
- an excellent book for the sleep-deprived!
I was very excited when I saw this book, as I have both a toddler and a preschooler who don't sleep well. I really like how the book is set up. There are eight tips for everyone, and then several chapters giving more information on specific situations. This makes it easy to read a little bit at a time and make changes as you feel up to it! I wish she had included more about different age siblings (she has a chapter on twins), especially with conflicting sleep problems or getting them on the same schedule. Many of the tips, both for everyone, and for specific situations, seem great, but we can't figure out a way to do them in our family.
But there's definately enough information to help you feel in control of the situation, even when we all know we're not.
I wish we'd had this book when my son was a toddler and we were trying to night-wean and move him to his own bed. We read the original No Cry Sleep Solution and several others at that point, and nothing seemed as thorough as this one on the why is you child waking and what are your options of what to do about it....more info
- Practical Information that Works!
My daughter is 16 months old. I read the No-Cry Sleep Solution (for babies) months ago with some success. However, despite following the suggestions in that book fairly closely, my daughter still continued to "fight sleep". I consider myself to be an "attachment parenting" mom (which I define as being sensitive and responsive to my child's needs which has naturally led to co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, babywearing etc.). I have been quite committed to finding alternatives to letting my child "cry-it-out". At the same time, I had been feeling quite impatient with our family's sleep problems and had wanted to improve things.
Flash forward to last week when I purchased Elizabeth Pantley's NCSS for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Much of the main information is the same in this book as in her first book (get child on a routine, follow child's biological clock etc.). In addition, the book has tons of helpful advice that is toddler/preschooler specific (nightmares, moving from family bed to own bed etc). I like the fact that Elizabeth "speaks" to ALL families ---those that follow attachment parenting lifestyles and also to more mainstream parenting styles.
What "spoke to me" the most was her comments about letting an older toddler/preschooler cry for a short time and how this is not the same context as letting an infant cry. I agree with Elizabeth that while "no crying" should be the goal sometimes a brief amount of crying can help the situation. Personally, I needed this reassurance...over the last few days, I have let my daughter cry for 5-10 minutes and it has really worked wonders. Rather than spending 2-3 hours trying to get her to sleep (routine, and then being in and out of the room), I am able to do our routine (lasting an hour and a half) and then leave the room (until I am ready for bed a few hours later). It has made all the difference in the world. I am getting a much-needed break and my daughter is happier for it (isn't overtired from "fighting sleep"). ...more info
- A brilliant book
A brilliant book. One of those books that I think every parent would benefit from reading. It is written in a very friendly, caring and non-judgemental way that makes you see tackling sleep problems as something positive rather than something to be dreaded! It covers facts on sleep, sleep tips and advice on tackling all sorts of problems from bedtime battles to separation anxiety.
It is very easy to read/use and shows you how to draw up a sleep plan that is suitable for your family. I started using tips from day one of receiving my book as it is very easy to dip in and out of and get some good ideas before you read it from cover to cover. I think it's a good investment as I am sure my sons sleep issues will change as he gets older and I will just be able to refer to it as different issues arise such as ,nightime fears....more info
- This Book Saved Us All!
My 21 month old daughter never slept and I thought it was just how she was. I also began to wonder if she was a bit Hyperactive. I had no idea that over tiredness could manifest itself in such a way. This book is 100% common sense and pointed out every thing that we were doing wrong perfectly. Not even half way through, I had already made a few changes to our sleeping approaches and on the first day we had a nap right after lunch and were in bed by 8:00 (instead of barley a nap at 4:00 and in bad at 10:30 after an hour long battle) and we are still going strong. I just didn't know this very simple and obvious stuff that was leading to the bed time battles. This book was exactly what I needed and saved our lives. I have already recommended it to three other moms with enthusiasm! Good Luck...and may the Sleep be with you!!...more info
- Brilliant book about sleep!
This is the most complete and useful book I've seen on the topic. It includes a section of general information call Sleep Tips for Every Child which includes very practical and easy to use ideas and how to implement them. Has an extensive section that covers particular problems such as night waking, bedtime battles, and what to do when a child needs mommy or daddy to fall asleep. GREAT chapters on naps; making the transition from the family bed; and moving from the crib to a bed. Unique and wonderfully gentle ideas for night weaning a toddler. A cheerful book that is easy to read and even has lots of adorable sleeping toddler photos. Very highly recommended....more info
- Help and encouragement have arrived
After thousands of years, one would suppose appropriate sleep routines would be ingrained in our traditional childrearing practices, but somehow we've lapsed, so it's fortunate Elizabeth Pantley felt called to retrain us in mindful, deliberate ways to support children's healthful rest.
Following her insightful, reliable guide to helping babies settle into sleep better (No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night 2002), Pantley presents the next step, a fresh look at sleep issues with practical, logical help for parents of older children.
She gives sound information, wise, caring opinions, and down-to-earth strategies such as her "gentle removal plan" and morning fairy rewards, but no harsh, extinction-based or cry-it-out "programs" to follow. With respect for children and parents, in understandable, friendly language, she explains basic normal sleep patterns and problems, lays out how to develop customized "sleep plans," and offers general tips, precautions, and a variety of options parents might consider.
Her material is well organized with a useful table of contents and extensive index, and she covers, in detail, aspects of sleep other resources overlook. The topic of nursing toddlers at bedtime, for example, is treated with specific step-by-step advice. Again and again, Pantley provides the prep work for parents' decisionmaking with multifaceted, cogent overviews, such as the evaluation of mechanics, construction, and coziness of beds and cribs including child preferences and participation, safety, bedding, allergens, placement and environment.
In a positive, sympathetic manner, she knowledgeably assists readers thinking through such subjects as schedules, napping, waking, dreams, fears, tooth grinding, bed-wetting, separation, transferring beds, adoption, twins, snoring, normal problems vs actual disorders, and daylight saving changes. With brevity and substance, she jogs parents' awareness to help them work out their own choices for their own families.
Pantley is a dedicated researcher with a mother's perspective who converts what she studies into accessible, compassionate guidance with real life application. She has a gift for clarity and is responsible about facts and data, as evidenced by her approach to putting the book together: Forty-four volunteer test families around the world, of varied configurations, read her initial manuscript and followed Pantley's directions, reporting back to let her "peek into their naptime and bedtime routines, problems and successes," and 245 families completed extensive sleep surveys. (Interesting snapshots of some of their sleeping children in various circumstances- a two-year-old's feet extended over the top of carpeted stairs, siblings entwined, sound asleep fathers snuggling, a three year old tipped forward from an upholstered chair onto a foot stool- are interspersed among the text, a sweet touch.)
As in her other encouraging works, Pantley puts her heart into this one. The understanding and patience she imparts diminish parental frustration and the versatile selection of practical ideas helps families handle challenging adjustments sensibly.
The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers should become a basic parenting standby....more info
- Life Saver
After a year of sleep deprivation, this book has been a life saver for me and my husband. It gives us permission to know that our son is unique, and that we can attend to him and his needs with love. It also gives us permission to let go of stereotypes, and unrealistic expectations. It asks questions, in a gentle way, that encourages us to evaluate our own behaviors. It helps us to learn the cues our son is giving, as well as to realize the not so helpful behaviors we sometimes display. One of the most important things that we have learned, is that our son is changing constantly as he grows, as are his needs. The book is helpful as a continued reference, as we are presented with the need to change routines to meet our son's ever changing growth spurts.
A few months ago, while on vacation, our son's sleep pattern (which had been practically perfected due to reading the book) was disrupted. I could recall the author's reminder that once things seem to get situated, there is a cold, or family vacation. Those words saved me on that vacation. As a mom, these are the types of suggestions that are most helpful, the real ones!
Elizabeth Pantley offers great tips, as simple as they are, ones we were too tired to think of (like covering our son's windows at night to keep it darker in the morning). She is a nurturer, that is evident. She is also an educator. I have already purchased "The No Cry Potty Training Solution" and look forward to additional works by Elizabeth Pantley.
Kim Rapach, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker...more info
- Made my problems worse!
My son is post colicky so this book was not helpful at all to me. He showed no sleepy signs due to being chronically overtired. He cried MORE often and for longer durations after implementing most/all of the books suggestions and got up even more during the night! This book is best for those who nurse and co-sleep, and are willing to be up nights for months on end. It obviously worked for many, but not me! I found that it made all my son's problems worse which were only cleared up after implementing the steps from "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." My son is napping pretty regularly now after only a couple of weeks, and his disposition is markedly improving! He went from being up 2 or 3 times a night to sleeping 12 hours straight!!!!!!!! AND with LESS crying IF ANY! "No-Cry" is NO GOOD for me....more info
- Got some good ideas :)
I got this book for my two youngest ones at the time 2 and 3. I did get some good ideas from the book that worked for us. But there is really no true, No cry way to get kids to sleep. Just gentle consistency, time, and a little/a lot of patience helps too. :) ...more info
- NO CIO
This book is wonderful for those who choose to put their kids to sleep on their own without making them cry-it-out. It works!...more info