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The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (Toltec Wisdom Book)
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Product Description

In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, he shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships. Using teachings from the three Toltec Masteries (Awareness, Transformation, and Love) as a foundation, don Miguel brings to light the fallacies and misplaced expectations about love that permeate most relationships. He gracefully shares his wisdom through delightful and engaging stories that clarify each point and bring his message to life.

Customer Reviews:

  • Profound message in layman's terms
    I just want to say this is beautiful book. It has a simple message. It makes you believe that everything is okay and everything is going to be alright because if you love yourself everything falls into place. I think I'm finally starting to know what that means.
    This book is easy to read but the message sticks with you. The author puts a couple of meditation prayers at the end so you have something to help you stay focused on the message, if you want to. I have read two other books by this author, The Four Agreements and The Voice of Knowledge and loved all of them. ...more info
  • inspiring
    i am about ready to enter a divorce with a alchoholic that is choosing alchol over his family. This book has taught me so much and is really helping it to get through it. The most important thing I learned was it's got absolutly nothing to do with me. He is suffering from his own emotional scars and he need to heal them on his own. It also helped me to realize that my dream of life is so different from his. I learned more from this book then I could ever hope to learn anywhere else ...more info
  • A Difficult Read
    Although the concepts are solid, this book is not an easy read. Throughout the book, Ruiz is redundant and frequently just continues to restate the obvious. I was hoping all the chapters would be brought together at the end so that one could see all the concepts in action, but the chapters are left as stand alone titles within the same book. I was hoping to take away a new understanding of spirituality and the universe, but instead I was left feeling like I had just read a college text book...very informative, but not very practical....more info
  • A Must Read!
    This book has a lot of good information in it, and while I think it's information that we all know deep down, sometimes you need someone to plainly say it (or write it) to remind you. At least that is how it was in my case.

    When I read it the first time I remember loving it, it was brilliant and while I didn't feel like I agreed with everything in it, a lot of what was taught in it shaped some of my views on love. At the time, I hadn't had much experience in relationships, in fact I think it was pretty recent after the end of my very first relationship. However, a lot of what was in this book really stuck with me, so just before Yule this year I took the time to run to the store and pick up two copies of it. One for my boyfriend (as a gift) and one for myself to read again. Really, I'm glad that I did.

    Reading it this time, I feel like I agreed with a lot more of what he said, and that I soaked more of it in. It didn't do much to change how I feel about relationships or love, because they were pretty similar to begin with. It did reaffirm them for me though, and put into words a lot of how I felt. Enough that when I finished reading it I had the urge to pass it along, so that a certain friend of mine could take the time and read it, in hopes that it would reaffirm things for him. Especially the most important things that deal with self love, self destruction, the "Parasite" inside of us all, and how the way others act should not affect us and vice versa. It really opened my eyes, and I feel like sharing the knowledge I feel I've gained from it. I'll probably buy it again in a few months.

    This book really speaks towards the way society can implant negative thoughts on us, and how we can be raised to believe them. We are all born innocent and full of love, and somewhere along the way we learn how to be distrustful, and how to be hurt, and to be hurtful in return. Our parents learned this while they grew, and they (along with the rest of society) then teach it to us as we grow up, and the cycle continues ever onward. Personally, I would hope that I have the strength to stop that cycle, and leave my children full of love and respect.

    Another thing it tells us, is the story of "The Man Who Didn't Believe in Love", which is now one of my favorite legends. It tells of a man who went around giving lectures on the non-existence of love, because so many people use it to manipulate each other. He says "love is like a drug" because in each relationship you have the "dealer" of the "drug" and the person who is addicted and keeps coming back for more. The stronger partner deals out the love, and the weaker tries to soak up as much of it as they can, and they take any abuse the dealer gives out too, because they think they need it so badly and that they can't get it anywhere else. He vows that he does not believe in love, because he has had many such experiences and refuses to let anyone manipulate him with this false emotion.

    So this man is walking through the park one day and he comes across a woman who is sitting in the grass crying. He stops to console her, and asks her why she is crying, and she replies "I am crying because love does not exist." The man is astounded, because he has finally found a woman who feels the same way he does. He talks to her, they develop a friendship, and soon they are spending all their time together. They never fight, and they never expect anything from each other, they have the perfect bond. One day when the man is away, he is contemplating his relationship with the woman. He realizes that what he feels for her must actually be love, and that he had been wrong all along. Love does exist, and it is much more pure and beautiful than anything he'd ever experienced. The man is so excited that he rushes home immediately to tell her how he feels about her. She, in turn, replies that she has felt this way for quite some time and has been afraid to tell him because of his disbelief in the emotion.

    The legend then tells that the man is so happy, that he goes outside and sends his happiness into the universe. His happiness is so large that it pulls a star down into his hands and he hurries to give it to the woman. The happiness is so overwhelming, that for a moment the woman hesitates, and in that moment of doubt she drops it and it shatters. Now there is a man who is wandering the Universe, broken and lonely because he once again believes that love does not exist. There is also a woman who sits at home waiting for the man who once loved her, feeling remorse for that one moment of doubt that ruined their relationship.

    So in asking yourself who was in the wrong, was it the woman who doubted for a moment? No, it was the man who decided to place his entire happiness in someones hands. If we place all of our happiness in the control of others, how can we ever expect to be happy? It is entirely up to us to be happy, and if we choose to be happy with someone else, we're all the better. We cannot rely on them to make us happy.

    The book delves into quite a bit more information regarding loving yourself and being a whole person. It also emphasizes my previous belief that you have to be happy on your own, if you can ever be happy with anyone else. You have to love yourself to fully love another, and you have to be an equal part to a relationship, and not rely on them. It is the same with friends, family, and anyone you encounter.

    In any case, I highly recommend this book to anyone, even if you read it simply to remind yourself of what you knew before. He has at least 3 other books that go along with it, and I plan on reading them as well.

    Remember, God = Love and God is inside of you.

    So YOU = LOVE....more info
  • Master of Love
    I thought that it was very simple.....not a bad thing....but not enough depth for my liking. I am sure it will assist others in their desire to gain knowledge....more info
  • The Wounded Heart
    Don Miguel Ruiz brings us to the most essential keys to understanding the struggles that many people undergo in love. His words, soft and inviting, speak of a world that seems almost impossible to reach, but he reminds us that everyone can reach this world through healing emotional wounds. A very enlightening read to those who seek to understand their karmic circles in relationships....more info
  • The Mastery of Self Love
    From this wonderful book, you will learn more about the importance of true, unconditional self love, and from that place, you will then know how to love others as they are, not as you try to re-make them to be.
    Self love comes from the center of your heart and being, and with that comes the realization that we can only share true love with another person when we first share true unconditional love with ourselves.

    This is far different than "ego" as ego is the exact opposite of love. It is all from the outside in. Ruiz writes in a manner that is to the point, where you will come to understand more about authenticity, and the difference this perspective can make in your life.

    I loved this book, and I also suggest another book along with this one by Barbara Rose called "Stop Being the String Along" both books have opened my mind and heart, and are authentic gems of wisdom that have been a tremendous benefit in my life.
    ...more info
  • Practical, Insightful- & Just in Time for the Holidays!- Master this Book Now!
    This small, simple little book is filled with an abundance of insightful life lessons that can direct you onto the path of living a spiritually rich life. "The Mastery of Love", by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a practical guide on the art of forming a relationship. From Ruiz's perspective, relationship building is indeed an art form.

    Ruiz divides his spiritual journey into three different areas of emotional awareness. The first is the `Mastery of Awareness', whereby he looks at relationship from the perspective of freedom. He suggests that relationship can only thrive and develop through a sense of freedom and truth. The second is the `Mastery of Transformation' , in which the author encourages the development of spiritual awareness. Finally, the author examines the `Mastery of Love' suggesting that the road to true happiness and truthful expression of the mind, body, and soul is the expression of love. As the author delves into each of the three major tenants of his approach, it becomes clear that love and relating to one another can be a simple journey of self awareness and the willingness to embrace love.

    The spiritual journey in this book reminds me of my favorite authors on the topic of pursuing happiness and self expression. Ariel and Shya Kanes' book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life" is an incredible book dedicated to pursuing a fulfilling and meaningful life through awareness and transformation. I have taken their workshops in New York City. Their approach has truly shifted the qualitative experience in my life and how I interact within all of my relationships. You can check out their books and workshops on Transformationmadeeasy.com

    I suggest you check out the books by Ruiz and the Kanes and read them back to back! Both will help enrich and enliven the way you interact with life and with other people!
    ...more info
  • The Mastery of Finding the Perfect Book!
    I wasn't looking for a book about how to find love--I am happily married--but knowing that love and forgiveness are essential to peace and joy I wanted to make sure I was on the right path. I have to admit that I was missing the big picture and I definitely couldn't put this book down. The Mastery of Love is an excellent gift to yourself, as well as to mothers and fathers, friends, and relatives. Be sure to check out The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz too. Good luck on your life journey!...more info
  • Excellent book
    This is a wonderful book. I highly recommend it to anyone on the path to self-knowledge....more info
  • Sublime
    Don Miguel Ruiz's Mastery of Love is a must read for anyone who is looking to apply Toltec wisdom to their relationships. I rank this right up there with the Castaneda tradition. ...more info
  • Toltec Wisom - The Mastery of Love
    This book is really right on. It shows you how to apply The Four Agreements to any relationship. It's very enlightening and written in an easy to understand fashion. The audio version of this book is great too. ...more info
  • A must read!
    I think this book has valuable information for everybody. It's tough to understand for the first three chapters, but then it starts to make sense - and you will want to read it again....more info
  • "Writing Our Story with Love."

    This is the fourth in the Toltec Wisdom Series - so be prepared for a beautiful read. In it Ruiz writes about peeling away the layers, the voices of those we allowed to be caught up in our belief system and that now interfere with our creative, authentic expression. Ruiz calls these voices the voice of knowledge. It's our moneymind, our ego, `the voice in our head' that is so often about pain and drama, fear and sorrow. He talks about how we abandon the true self because we substitute those other voices for ours, and his book is filled with awareness and insights about what we can do about it.
    In his wonderfully personal and conversational style Ruiz tells stories of stories. Life is a matter of storytelling: theirs or ours, it's our choice. My favourite chapter he calls "Writing Our Story with Love". That says it all.


    ...more info
  • Finest Relationship Book! The Love that Starts from Within.
    I read "The Four Agreements", "The Four Agreements Companion Book", "The Voice of Knowledge" and this book, "The Mastery of Love". I read "The Mastery of Love" the first time after "The Four Agreements" but before "The Voice of Knowledge". So, the first time reading "The Mastery of Love", I could not get as much out as what I wanted to. However, the second time I read through it (after the reading of "The Voice of Knowledge"), I have such a deep appreciation of what the author's message is. I was applying many of the techniques I learnt from the author in this one relationship. I learnt so much about practicing love in and out of this one relationship even though it did not end up living happily ever after with this person. The book helps me understand why relationship can still end; even I exercised love through full acceptance of who he is.

    1. The projection of the many selves that hurts relationships
    We project so many versions of ourselves to others just to win their approvals, consciously and subconsciously. In my situation, I realize I was presenting who I was, or at least I make a conscious effort to be truthful and honest. I loved him for who he is with full acceptance (despite the circumstances happening in his life and our huge difference), and with acknowledgement of my own inner fears, ego so I can put my second attention to the track of love, rather than track of fear.

    The broken part is that he could not acknowledge the subconscious projection he had (he projected himself with the one full of love and care towards others - which is true but one dimensional), and maybe has suppressed many of his deepest fears about relationships.

    In addition, I realized at the end he also had a false impression of me. He thought that I need his love in order for me to survive (that one pizza while I can cook all my food - love, in my own "Magical Kitchen"). He thought I could not love myself and be independent. He thought I need to be taken care of. At least that is how I perceive through that projection.

    When there are too many projections in the relationship, you cannot accept who a person is truly. Without acceptance, then, where is love?

    2. Love is About Acceptance but Not about Drama
    This is what I learnt from Don Miguel Ruiz's teaching. Love is about creating heaven on Earth through acceptance. You can create that heaven by yourself and you can create that heaven with others. There is no need to invite drama (which is often inflicted by sense of fear, ego, anger, jealousy which are often hardly acknowledged) which drives the need to control, and the need to be right.

    I am glad I went through Don Miguel Ruiz's teaching when this relationship started and ended. It helped me to intensely love in the moment and treated the person the best I know how without the perfectionism paralyzing me. It was the first time I loved someone with acceptance and acknowledgement of fear. I was happy when I was in that relationship and I am still grounded falling off from it. It is too bad relationships ended. However, I always remember Don Miguel Ruiz's teaching about loving myself without judgment. With that being said, I also drew boundaries with this person at the end for the sake of not inviting drama into both lives again. He is wonderful just the way he is. And I will always remember the romance and the dance. He was the one who inspired me to see the true beauty of spirit. Thank you.

    What I am writing here is hoping to bring you an awareness in a practical sense that maybe you are living in true love, the love that helps you create the dream of heaven and not hell. However, your partner might not understand your well intention and things might still end. Why did it end? Why search for the answers when you realize there are so many projections out there and you might never find the truth? I hope my review here can inspire you that you can still love yourself the fullest possible, and enjoy your life the best way you can despite any life situation. Life is still beautiful after all if you have unconditional love about yourself. It does not matter when it starts or when it ends. For, all human mind has a "magical kitchen" that is capable to love self and others but some how that was lost during the "domestication" process.
    ...more info
  • Everything and more!
    I'm not a big self-help book type person. But this was incredible. My cousin suggested The Four Agreements to me (when I was 17) and I was astonished. I loved the book and needed to know more, so I bought the Mastery of Love and was not let down. As an 18 year old, this book is great for all ages, and I am glad I was exposed to this at a young age, especially before heading off to college. I have given it to everyone I know in hopes of them to change their lives and cast out their demons as well as reinventing themselves. It's not easy, but this book definitely helps. Great book!...more info
  • Fabulous Book - A Must Read for EVERYONE!!!!!
    This book is absolutely a MUST READ for everyone. Whether you are in a relationship, thinking about a relationship, getting over a relationship or prefer being single you must read this insightful book. If you have children or are thinking about having children this book is MANDATORY READING!!!!!
    It is a quick read....I go back and read different chapters over and over again to refresh my understanding. I've bought this for every family member and every close friend in my life.
    It reinforces a belief system I've had for most of my adult life and allows all my relationships to be loving and sincere....more info
  • Beautiful presentation and a wonderful book
    I enjoyed reading this book a lot. It gave me a perspective that helps me to stop reacting, and live genuinely in the moment in love. It's a wonderful read!...more info
  • Life Changing
    I picked up this book thinking, "great now I can learn what I am doing wrong in relationships" what I learned what that before I can love someone, I have to love myself. This book will really change your prespective on what real love is. I highly recommend this book. It was life changing for me =)...more info
  • Who Knew Exactly How Unconditional Love Truly Is?
    Although raised Catholic and still committed to Christian-like practices, I find Toltec Wisdom peaceful and more loving than any spiritual practice. I have learned so much about myself and how I have absorbed negativity through people around me and made them true. I see now that my mind is the most important tool I have for finding happiness--and love. I am still learning to let go and trust that self-love is the only love I really need, but this practice has already freed me in many ways. Gone are the days of me wearing myself out to "earn" love. I will love myself and be present in this moment, loving freely and free from the influence of the past, the future, the opinions of others, and my own self-hatred.

    This is a great guide for anyone struggling in relationships with anyone else: lovers, friends, family members, work colleagues, neighbors, etc....more info
  • Title: The Mastery of Love
    I truly enjoyed Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Mastery of Love". It is powerful and heartfelt. Don Miguel Ruiz is a Toltec master and he shares with us the wisdom and beauty of these ancient teachings. Through this ancient body of knowledge we hear many lessons expertly disguised as stories and legends. How freeing to be reminded that we can only be exactly who we are - not what we believe we should be, what society thinks we should be, or what we think would be better. It is not us that is the problem rather, it is our judgments and beliefs that cause us pain; that make life the "dream of hell". Once we stop believing the lies we tell ourselves our lives can become magical.
    Whenever I read a great book, like this one, on the topic of enlightenment/self realization/inner peace, I find myself thinking of another book called "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane and of their new book "Working on Your Relationship Doesn't Work". I have read them both, the first book on several occasions over the years, and am always inspired by the simple yet profound message these books hold. Awareness, the non-judgmental seeing of what is, has a miraculous power and can transform your life. It really is just that simple.
    ...more info
  • Absolutely Amazing
    This is the most beautiful, wise, spiritual, moving, truthful book i had ever read. The words are so wise and true that it hits the core of the soul and unlocks the key to true happiness and spiritual freedom. It opens up a door to God's love, which is pretty intense. Some people may not be able to handle or comprehend how it unveils the lies all around us, that have blinded us from the innate truth. ...more info
  • "Happiness comes from inside..."
    Kudos to Ruiz for writing another great book that's also a quick read! The lowest rating anyone has given it is a 3 out of 5 stars, which is amazing. It's not your typical relationship book, it's not going to tell you how to settle your argument about who should take out the trash, who's behaving poorly, or a fool proof way to find your soul mate. It will take you down a path of how you develop relationships, starting from the beginning of your emotional life to now. Then it describes to you how to re-examine your current relationships.

    I really enjoyed the stories that typically start most chapters and the creative examples he uses to get his point across. "The Perfect Relationship" has the dog example "The dog is responsible for its half of the relationship with you. One half of the relationship is completely normal - the dog's half, When you come home, it barks at you, it wags it tail, it pants because it's so happy to see you. It does its part very well, and you know it's the perfect dog." He goes on to say because your expectation of the dog is to be a dog and nothing more, it is a perfect relationship. How many relationships do you have where you only expect a person to be who they are and nothing more?

    The chapters are filled with great points about emotional development and "wounds" we acquire through the life process. In the end, he sums it up that finding heaven is about finding truth, forgiveness, and self-love.

    I feel there's other books that cover similar material that have moved me more passionately than "The Mastery of Love" most of those take longer to read and are a little more abstract. I recommend this book to anyone recovering from a breakup, or coming from a "I can't find the love I'm looking for" point of view. For anyone else, it's still a good book :-)

    Four out of Five stars for great messages, good dialogue and length. Minus one star for not blowing me away with some sort of deep feeling or passion....more info
  • Sublime
    Don Miguel Ruiz's Mastery of Love is a must read for anyone who is looking to apply Toltec wisdom to their relationships. I rank this right up there with the Castaneda tradition. ...more info
  • Eye opening
    Reading this book after a break-up was a therapeutic experience. Ruiz provides sound examples and advice overall. He opens your eyes to things that you probably already knew but were afraid to admit.... thus helping you work through the "fear" that originated the thoughts in the first place. It's worth re-reading, especially when you find yourself in a "bad place" emotionally. I don't typically read new-age or self-help books, however Ruiz makes this an easy read, uses insightful examples and helps you look at things in a different light then you're trained to. ...more info
  • Great companion for the Four Agreements
    A great read every time and excellent when read in conjunction with The Four Agreements....more info
  • Overly simplistic and negative, but many truths are told.
    I was looking for a book to inspire me and give practical examples/strategies on how to improve communication and understanding.

    I would've enjoyed some inspiring insights into how romance is beautiful and how wonderful it would be to use some practical strategies to help honor eachother with respect and love. This book basically says just find someone you can get along with and don't worry about communication and understanding. Just accept them for who they are and don't try to change them.

    Don't try to change people? What about improving listening skills or other practical strategies that strengthen compassion and self improvement? What about if that person is on drugs and you want to try to help? To that, the book will just say don't bother. That is their problem and if you feel sorry for them, you are being disrespectful of their being. If to change people is bad, why does he write this book? Doesn't this book change people? So, the book is to me very confusing, and I think it is only good for some people.

    Also, I felt there was too much of a negative overtone in this book. It took up a lot of writing space talking about how people are so fake, fearful, and delusioned about love. He makes it sound so negative. I think fear was an important part of human evolution to keep us alive. It is something to understand, use, and control, but not hold in disgust. He makes it sound like it is some useless dark force that is not supposed to be and I personally think that causes an unhealthy mentality. Fear can be a great teacher if used right.

    But otherwise, it is actually genuinely very insightful in terms of understanding unconditional love. I think his way is only one kind working model out of many that still adhere to the rules of the ultimate truth. So, in conclusion, this is a relatively horrible and great book at the same time.

    ...more info
  • Fantastic, changed my life
    The teachings in this book pushed me to end a relationship that wasn't working and move into a new life with my soulmate. It is a deceptively simple, fable-like read which focuses on finding someone who accepts you unconditionally and forgiving yourself. Highly recommended if you want to open your heart to opportunity and happiness!...more info
  • The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (Toltec Wisdom Book)
    Very uplifting book. Little preaching in the beginning, but helpful. I definitely needed to read it. I'd recommend it to everybody who struggles to understand why their relationships are not working the way they want them to work. It is of course not a magic stick to fix it for you, but give some insights that if applied right can change your prospective completely....more info
  • Highly Recommended!
    Of all the inspirational books I have read, I must say that this is my favorite. I struggle to find the right words to describe this book! When I first read it so many things began to make sense. Causes for so much unhappiness in my life became so much clearer. I could let go of my dissappointment with family, religion and society for letting me down because I finally understood where all this poison came from. There was no longer a need to find someone to blame and with that came an incredible release perhaps some would call forgiveness. Now, everytime I read it my eyes open up even wider and I can tell that I am changing. And I like the person I'm changing into. What a blessing is that!

    My life has not been easy and because of that I've exercised my God given right as a victim to blame others. The only problem with that is, I've lost myself in the process. I have spent years of my life in therapy trying to come to terms with that. While therapy has been vital in my growth, and subsequent inspirational books have contributed to my asking of questions, I credit this book with clarifying things, providing explainations and helping me with were to go from here.

    We each search for truth and when we find it, it resonates with us and we feel its impact in our lives. The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz resonates with me and my life will not be the same again. Thank you Don Miguel!...more info
  • Great Book
    Author of "Not Manifesting? This Book is for You".
    Michael Ruiz hit one out of the park again. I first read his book "The Four Agreements" and knew then that I would read every book he authors. If you are looking for personal transformation - you have found it. I highly recommend this book and all his books.
    Kathleen...more info
  • A Concise Guide to Mastering Love!
    I originally read Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements," and loved it, so I couldn't wait to read "The Mastery of Love"....I wasn't disappointed! This is a great little book on mastering love.

    He notes that normally relationships are based 95% on fear and 5% on love. He then goes on to explain the difference between fear and love, like noting:
    *Love has no obligations. Fear is full of obligations.
    *Love has no expectations. Fear is full of expectations.
    *Love is completely responsible. Fear avoids responsibility.
    *Love is always kind. Fear is always unkind.
    *And my favorite....Love is unconditional. Fear is full of conditions.

    If you want to live your life from a place of love, rather than fear, this book can help you do it!
    ...more info